We are sitting in the second week of July, just past the halfway point of the year. For some people, that’s exciting. For others, it’s discouraging.
Maybe you started the year with big goals, clear intentions, and a vision for what you wanted your life to look like by now. Maybe you were going to lose the weight, write the book, save the money, start the business, heal the relationship, deepen your faith, or finally make that change you’ve been talking about for years.
And now here we are.
The reality doesn’t look like the plan.
Some people are looking at the first six months of the year with pride. Others are looking at them with disappointment, frustration, or even disgust. They see unfinished goals, broken promises to themselves, and opportunities they feel they have wasted.
If that’s you, today I have a message for you:
You do not need to spend the second half of the year punishing yourself for the first half.
One of the greatest lies we tell ourselves is that if we have to start over, we have failed.
I disagree. Starting over isn’t failure. Refusing to start over is.
Most people don’t fail because they made a mistake. They fail because they become so discouraged by the mistake that they stop moving forward altogether.
Maybe your health goals got derailed. You might have lost some weight like I did, and then gained it all back like I did too. For those who are facing this, I understand you.
A window into my world
I was doing really well for a while. I had lost 16 pounds, was walking a few miles every day, and my doctor was singing my praises. For the first time in my life, I left my doctor’s office feeling happy…not hearing anything about my cholesterol or the need to lose weight. It felt so good.
Then I went through a season of loss I never saw coming, and I completely went off the rails with my physical progress. Three people I loved so much (and still love) were gone overnight and in the most painful ways. I was struggling so much, and to be honest, I still struggle.
The emotional pain was so intense that I simply stopped caring. I spent my days either shaking my fist at the sky asking God why, or reaching for anything that might make me feel better for a few minutes. The problem was that the things I was using to soothe myself were actually making things worse. None of this took away pain permanently. It was simply a 15 minute fix.
Brownies seemed like a reasonable answer when I felt like nothing mattered anymore. I asked Larry to get me a waffle maker as a gift for mother’s day and he started topping them with butter, chocolate chips, pecans and powdered sugar, at my request. This felt so good going down and then fifteen minutes later I would hate myself for doing it. All I could think about was that I had lost several people who were a huge part of what made life feel meaningful to me. And I just wanted to drown myself in butter and chocolate and anything that felt soothing even for five minutes.
All of this was a terrible answer.
What I needed wasn’t comfort food. What I needed was a restart.
So that’s what I’m embracing now.
I hit a wall and realized how stupid this all was, and now I’m breaking old habits and building new ones. Meal prepping like it’s my job. Focusing on things like hitting a daily protein goal. Getting up from my desk and walking around the block. Then doing it again. And again. Not just watching TV at home and doing nothing but watching TV, but hopping on a little recumbent bike I bought and put in front of the TV for times when I’m going to watch a show.
Some days I do it feeling strong.
Some days I do it while crying.
But by God, I’m doing it.
And if you’re staring at the wreckage of goals you once had, wondering how you got so far off track, hear me:
You are not disqualified because you had a hard season.
You don’t need permission to start over.
You just need to start.
Trust me. I get you.
Maybe you had a great prayer life for six months and then got away from it. Perhaps you were making progress on a dream, a degree, a business, a book, or a relationship, and then life happened.
Welcome to being human.
The people who ultimately succeed are not the people who never stumble. They are the people who refuse to stay down.
Here are some things I have been reminding myself of and I hope they help you.
Every day is a reset
One of the things I love about God is that He built resets into life. Every morning is a reset. Every Monday is a reset. Every new season is a reset.
When you realize you are off course – it’s time for a rest. The enemy wants you to believe you missed your chance. God continually offers new beginnings. Don’t let the enemy take them away from you. He wants to convince you, resets aren’t a thing. At least not for you. He’s a liar.
Stop getting caught up in “the perfect plan”
Sometimes we aren’t grieving our failure. We’re grieving the loss of our fantasy.
We thought we’d lose the weight perfectly, or save money perfectly, or finish our project on schedule.
We are the people who declared on New Year’s Eve, “THIS IS MY YEAR!!”
And now, we hate this year.
The sooner we let go of perfection, and “the way it should be,” the sooner we can embrace progress.
The restart is where growth is
There is something powerful about a person who starts again. Not because starting over is fun.
Because starting over requires humility. It requires honesty and courage. It requires admitting that something wasn’t working.
Anyone can continue when things are going well. Character is revealed when you’re willing to say, “this isn’t working,” and start over again.
Start from experience not from scratch
One of my favorite reminders is this:
When you start over, you are not starting from scratch. You are starting from experience.
You know more than you knew before. You are not the same person you were back then. You learned things and gained wisdom, and identified your weaknesses.
You know better and now you can do better.
The first attempt was not wasted. It prepared you for the next one.
This is a word for somebody today and I want you to hear me loud and clear, because I know that I know that I’m talking to somebody who desperately needs to hear this. Sometimes we keep going in the same direction because we don’t want to admit it’s not working, and we don’t want to start over. But there’s nothing worse than continuing in the wrong direction because no matter how far you go, no matter how long you stay…it’s still the wrong direction.
You make no progress in the wrong direction no matter how long you stay.
So stop.
Commit to starting again, this time from experience.
Just start
Stop telling yourself you’ll do this in six months. It’s time to let go of the delaying of your restart, and pushing it off to the next Monday, the next month, the next year, or when the kids are grown.
Do not spend six months planning your comeback.
Take the walk.
Make the appointment.
Break off the relationship.
Write the resignation.
Start writing chapter 1 of your book.
Drink the water.
Send the application.
Say you’re sorry.
Open the Bible.
Join the gym.
Make the budget.
Whatever your “restart” looks like, begin.
Now.
Not next Monday.
Not next month.
Not January 1.
Today.
Because the people who eventually reach their goals are rarely the people who never fell behind.
They’re the people who weren’t afraid to start again.
You don’t need a new year, a new month, or a new Monday. You just need the courage to begin again.
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