I wrote a book many years ago that is now out of print. I am so thankful it’s out of print because I don’t believe at least 25% of it anymore. I have lived, studied, and grown, and therefore some of the things I believe have changed since that time. I disagree with a lot of my own theology in that old book and I’m thankful it’s not on Kindle or floating around the internet. It was published before the internet or Kindle existed. Yes, I’m that old, as my kids as well as my niece and nephew love to point out. One day, my great-niece Livvy asked me if there were cars when I was growing up. Another day she said, “Dee Dee can you show me some pictures of when you came and brought me to be with you in Florida in the olden days?” Why yes, dear child, I do have pictures from these ‘olden days’ that you speak of. (LOL)

Things I Used to Believe

• I used to believe if someone committed suicide, they automatically went to hell.
• I used to believe that if I walked into church wearing pants, God was unhappy.
• I used to believe the little wax bottles we used to drink as kids were great. (Be honest, they were awful.)
• I used to believe the only reason for divorce was if a spouse cheated or departed the faith.
• I used to believe that WWF Wrestling was real.

I used to believe all of these things because I was conditioned to believe them — before I sought the truth for myself. Not just “my truth” as some are fond of saying. I don’t believe there is such a thing as my truth or your truth, but THE truth.

Nowhere in Scripture does it say you go to hell if you commit suicide. Sadly, it is assumed by many people. I am not glorifying suicide and certainly not encouraging it. What I do believe is that there is no guarantee of heaven or hell by choosing it. Suicide is murder, and we have it on record in Scripture that God has forgiven murder. (Saul/Paul for example.) We never definitively know everything about a person when they die. We don’t necessarily know if they knew Jesus, and second, we don’t know the health or lack thereof, of their mind/brain. The struggle with mental illness is a real thing. While I believe we should do all we can to help a person not end their life, I don’t believe making statements that they are going to go to hell is the best option to help them.

Larry used to tell our kids, “If anyone wants to know what we believe about suicide, don’t have them ask your Mom. Have them come to me!” Larry was afraid of me sharing my viewpoint — that it may actually encourage people that suicide is okay. I thought that it may have the opposite effect. Maybe people with questions would appreciate honesty. Perhaps if they knew that a pastor had questions or grappled with things like this too, maybe it would prevent a suicide instead of encouraging it because they would feel understood. I hoped it might open up a conversation whereby the person would trust me and more importantly, trust Christ. Funny enough, although Larry told the kids to send people to him and not me, many times they would tell their friends, “You ought to talk to my Mom.” (LOL)  I don’t know if they did it out of rebellion or  thinking I might be the more understanding one. To my knowledge, no one has ever died or gone to hell by taking my advice.

I’ve expanded my thinking to believe that someone being abused by their spouse should not have to stay with them, and that they should not be condemned for it. Furthermore, the church should surround them with love and care. The Bible has been used far too often to keep a spouse in abusive situations. So many times we prioritize saving an institution rather than saving a person! A person Jesus loves and died for! I will never forget one of my heroes, Karen Wheaton, saying that when she went through divorce and the week it became final she was heartbroken — no one called, came by, or cared. She said, “If my husband had died, my kitchen would have been filled with casseroles that people sent over, but instead there was silence!”  Just this week I saw a post by one of my favorite content creators, Patrick Weaver, who said this:

“A church that promotes marriage at all costs is not promoting a biblical covenant marriage, they’re promoting religous bondage disguised as a biblical covenant marriage. God didn’t create covenant marriage for His child to be abused and betrayed. God created covenant marriage for His people to love each other like Christ loves the church. (Ephesians 5:25)”

I’ve learned that faith, life and theology aren’t tied up in a box with a neat little bow on top. It can be complicated at times.

I do believe in the authority of Scripture and  I also believe many people twist those scriptures to fit their narrative.

Although God’s Word never changes, we aren’t supposed to stay the same! There are seasons of our lives and just as the leaves fall off the trees in the wintertime, and new growth comes in the spring, so it is with our lives. As we study and seek the Lord, we learn more.

You get to change your mind, even about things you have always believed. It’s part of GROWTH.

As John Maxwell once said:

“If you are willing to change your thinking, you can change your feelings. If you change your feelings, you can change your actions. And changing your actions – based on good thinking – can change your life.”

Anyone who is not changing is not growing.

Are you growing?