For a long time, I thought “becoming” mostly meant achieving.
Becoming stronger. More accomplished. More influential, capable, and respected.
And while none of those things are inherently wrong, life has slowly been teaching me something deeper.
Becoming is also about learning how to stay soft in a hard world.
In my opinion, that may be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do.
Leadership, ministry, and life in general will give you no shortage of reasons to become hardened. Disappointment. Betrayal. Exhaustion. Criticism. Heartbreak. Pressure. Responsibility. Delayed prayers. Grief you never saw coming.
I have found that one of the biggest agenda items on my list every week is guarding against disillusionment, cynicism, and hardness of heart. Because if you are not intentional about dealing with those things, they will quietly swallow you whole.
More and more, I am realizing that becoming is less about climbing higher and more about growing deeper.
Deeper roots.
Deeper grounding.
Deeper steadiness.
When I was younger, I thought maturity looked like being the wise person who had answers when people had questions.
Now I think maturity often looks like remaining steady when you don’t have the answers.
I used to think strength meant pushing through everything without being affected by it. Now I think real strength is allowing God to meet you in your humanity instead of pretending you don’t have any.
Titles do not anchor you.
Accomplishments do not anchor you.
People’s opinions do not anchor you.
Success does not anchor you.
And if we are honest, sometimes even the things we worked the hardest for can leave us feeling more exhausted than fulfilled.
Am I the only one who has ever worked incredibly hard for something and then realized the view from the top was not what I thought it would be?
I think many of us spend years climbing toward what we believe is the destination, only to discover our souls were craving something entirely different all along. That realization changes a person.
More than once I have said to Larry, “Let’s just run away together…”
And he always reminds me that people who run away usually have to give up the internet, so apparently we are staying.
But honestly, one of the things I have been learning lately is this…anchored people are not people who never struggle.
They are people who know where to hold on.
Anchored people still grieve.
They still get weary.
They still wrestle with uncertainty.
They still have moments where they wonder what God is doing.
But over time, they stop expecting temporary things to carry the weight of their soul.
That may be one of the hardest lessons adulthood teaches us.
People will disappoint us.
Systems will fail us.
Situations will wound us more deeply than we thought we could survive.
Our emotions will fluctuate in the middle of all of it.
And God remains steady.
Hebrews says, “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” (Hebrews 6:19)
I have thought about that verse so much lately. I am preparing to preach it on the summer tour for PF Women, so it’s rolling around in my spirit all the time right now.
This hope is an anchor…
Not an anchor for our circumstances.
Not an anchor for our reputation.
Not an anchor for our comfort.
An anchor for our soul.
Younger versions of ourselves often believe peace comes from finally controlling everything.
But peace does not come through control.
Peace comes through trust.
Through surrender.
Through rootedness.
Through learning that God can hold you steady even when life does not feel steady at all.
I’m still becoming.
Not someone perfect.
Not someone who never struggles.
Not someone who has everything figured out.
Just someone more anchored than I used to be.
And honestly, I think that matters more than I once realized.
If there is one thing I want to say through all of this, it’s this:
Tend to your soul.
Not just your responsibilities.
Not just your goals.
Not just the image people have of you.
Your soul.
Because soul care is not shallow.
It is survival.
It is what keeps you tender without falling apart.
It is what keeps you grounded when life gets overwhelming.
It is what helps you continue becoming without losing yourself along the way.
Tend to your soul.
It is carrying far more than most people know
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