Disappointed but Still Called:
How Leaders Get Reappointed After Hurt

I once heard Joyce Meyer say something in one of her messages that stopped me in my tracks. She said, “When you get disappointed, you need to get reappointed.” At first glance, it sounded clever, almost like a catchy play on words. But the longer it sat with me, the more weight it carried. Because disappointment has a way of quietly knocking leaders off their assignment if we’re not careful.

Last night, during our Stronger Leadership Cohort Zoom, one of the leaders voiced something that seemed to resonated deeply with everyone…that being disappointed by people seems to be a constant, recurring theme in leadership.

She wasn’t wrong.

In this post I’m only talking about disappointment as it relates to leadership. That’s a category all its own. This doesn’t even begin to touch the disappointments we face personally—within our families, our health journeys, our finances, or the countless other places life can quietly unravel expectations. Those disappointments are real, weighty, and deserving of their own space. But leadership disappointment carries a unique burden, because it often happens in public, while we’re still expected to show up, stay steady, and keep going.

Leadership is, and always will be, a people endeavor. And people, no matter how gifted, well-intentioned, or spiritually mature—are human. They misunderstand. They fall short. They forget. They change. They sometimes wound us, even when they don’t mean to.

This is the name of the game in ministry and leadership, and how well we navigate this perpetual reality determines so much including our leadership health and longevity in ministry.

Here is a truth I shared with the group—and one I keep coming back to myself: While disappointment is inevitable in leadership, living defeated is optional.

The quiet danger of disappointment

What makes disappointment so dangerous isn’t the moment itself, but what we do after the moment. If we’re not careful, disappointment doesn’t just hurt us; it begins to reassign us. It moves us from hopeful to guarded, engaged to withdrawn, compassionate to cynical and called to calloused. And most of the time, we don’t even realize it’s happening. I’m telling you, this has held me captive many times before I even realized it! And what I found myself doing in those seasons was continuing to lead, still showing up, but doing it while bleeding — emotionally, spiritually and relationally. And I’m telling you…doing that long term is not God’s will for you or me. Bleeding leaders eventually lead from places of woundedness, or from self-protection instead of out of their calling.

Reappointment requires intention 

That’s where Joyce’s words become more than clever—they become corrective. When disappointment hits, we don’t just need comfort. We need reappointment. Reappointment is the moment we go back to God and say, “God, remind me why You called me…” and “God, please heal the wounds from this experience, and please don’t allow my heart to be hardened…” and “Lord, realign me. Re-center me on Your voice and not on people’s responses.”

It’s really important to note that reappointment doesn’t mean living in denial. It doesn’t mean acting as if the disappointment never existed. Reappointment doesn’t deny disappointment…it redeems it.

Leading from a healthy place

I shared with our cohort last night that when Larry and I were installed as pastors of our previous church, the district superintendent told the congregation, “If you cut your pastors, they will bleed.” He was reminding them that we are human. He wanted the church to know that we were not immune from the same pain they experience. But along with that, he also encouraged us as their pastors that even when wounded we did not have to live defeated.

I often encourage those I lead by saying, “You don’t have to stay where the devil left you.” It’s important that don’t normalize walking around wounded. Human failures should never rewrite our divine calling. Trauma does not get to be my identity. Have I experienced it? Oh yes. Is it going to dictate my next move? Oh no.

Healthy leaders learn how to process disappointment without parking there. They grieve honestly, forgive intentionally, reset boundaries wisely, and then return to the work with clarity—not callouses.

People will disappoint you. That’s not a leadership flaw—that’s a leadership reality.

I find that some leaders act as if disappointment is a shock, even if they have been doing this for a very long time. Is it painful? Yes, but disappointment shouldn’t drive your next move.

Disappointment happens, but it’s not going to lead me…I’m going to lead it.

Something to think about…

If disappointment has crept into your leadership lately, here’s a question worth sitting with:

Where do I need to be reappointed—by God, not by people?

Sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is go back to the One who called us in the first place and let Him remind us who we are, why we’re here, and how to keep leading with both strength and tenderness.

Because the goal isn’t to stop feeling disappointment. The goal is to make sure disappointment never gets the final word.