So I was listening to Jay Shetty’s latest podcast featuring Mel Robbins, and it honestly rocked my world. The topic was How to Stop People Pleasing Without Feeling Guilty. And during the conversation, Mel made a statement that stopped me in my tracks: humankind was never meant to have mirrors. What?!
Let me quote her directly so I don’t misrepresent what she said. Mel put it this way:
“Self-criticism has really gone through the roof, because check this out. We were never supposed to see ourselves. No, no, no, no—really, really—hang with me for a minute here. Yeah, like let’s just go back one or two human beings. Mirrors back then had all that acid stuff on it, so you couldn’t even see yourself. There were no glass buildings, so you didn’t see your reflection. If you saw yourself, it was like in the Charles River, and it was kind of moving. And so we are not neurologically, physiologically, emotionally designed to see ourselves.”
This hit me square in the face, I’ve got to tell you. My immediate reaction was, This can’t be right. She has to be off. I know mirrors are in the Bible. God intended them. She’s just wrong about this. The podcasts I listen to or the books I read are not always Christian. I read a wide variety of material, and I learn a lot from many sources but always hold everything up to the word of God to make sure it lines up. And I really thought, this just had to be wrong. So I did what I always do…I started researching.
Mirrors in the Bible.
Mirrors in the ancient world.
The history of mirrors.
How they were made.
How they were used.
And instead of proving her wrong, I ended up with a much more nuanced, and honestly more convicting, picture.
Mirrors are in the Bible. But they are rare, imperfect, and deeply symbolic. And the deeper idea Mel Robbins is touching on actually has real biblical resonance, even if it’s framed a bit strongly. And if we take a real look at this we realize why we have some of the fear, anxiety, depression, low self-worth, a jacked-up identity and so much more. After I studied this a bit I realized, if we could just get ahold of this truth and live it out, it would change everything. Let me tell you something my friend…not having an understanding of what I’m about to say might be why your muscles are sore, your hair is falling out, your blood pressure is up, your fatigue is crushing. I’ve been there!! Listen to me…this is life-changing.
What the Bible Says
In Exodus 38:8, we’re told that the bronze basin for the tabernacle was made from the mirrors of the women who served at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting. That alone is fascinating. These mirrors were surrendered for worship. Now that will preach, but I’ll leave that sermon for another day. In Job 37:18, mirrors are described as “cast bronze,” again emphasizing their solid yet imperfect nature. James 1:23–24 uses a mirror metaphor when he says, “Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and then forgets what he looks like.” And in 1 Corinthians 13 we read, “Now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face.” Scripture consistently presents mirrors as limited, partial, and inadequate for full understanding.
What’s also interesting is that Genesis never depicts humans gazing at themselves. In the beginning, humanity is oriented outward, toward God, toward one another, toward creation, toward stewardship. There is no biblical emphasis on self-observation, self-evaluation, or self-consciousness before the Fall. But then Genesis 3 happens. Sin enters the picture. Adam and Eve suddenly become aware of themselves. Shame appears. Hiding begins. Covering follows. This is the first moment in Scripture where self-focus is fused with insecurity. And that matters. Mirrors in biblical times were not like the glass mirrors we use today. They were made of polished bronze or metal, which meant the reflection was dim, distorted, and imperfect. You couldn’t obsess over details because you couldn’t see them clearly. If we were using those mirrors today, most of us wouldn’t have a clue how to do our eyebrows or mascara up close. You could recognize yourself, but not scrutinize yourself.
Excessive self-focus is a symptom of the Fall, not God’s original design. Now—don’t get this twisted. Scripture does not say mirrors are sinful. The Bible does not forbid mirrors. It does not say we were never meant to see ourselves. But it does consistently warn us not to fixate on outward appearance (1 Samuel 16:7), not to measure our worth through comparison (Galatians 6:4), and not to have our identity formed through self-reflection instead of through revelation. That’s the real issue here. It’s not the mirror. It’s where our identity is formed. It’s not about seeing yourself…it’s about who defines you.
What’s especially interesting is that I heard this Mel Robbins interview at the same time I’m reading Never Go Back by Dr. Henry Cloud, and this is just one passage from the book that impacted me:
If you were able to make everyone like you, by definition, you would have to be more than one person. You would need to be one person with one group to meet their expectations and another person to meet another group’s expectations. If you try to keep parents, friends, church members, and everyone else always liking you and approving of everything you do, you will have to be several contradictory people living in one body. This is the definition of a duplicitous person and the epitome of what psychologists call a lack of identity. It leads to all sorts of emotional, relational, and psychological problems. As the Bible puts it, this kind of person is “unstable in all his ways” (James 1:8).
That hits hard.
The truth is, the Bible consistently calls us to look to God for identity. To let God be the mirror that shapes us. To be transformed by the renewing of our minds, not by obsessing over ourselves or how people perceive us. James wasn’t saying, “Don’t look in the mirror.” He was warning us, “Don’t look, and then forget who you are.” And who you are is who God says you are. Not who you say you are. Not who people say you are. Pleasing everyone is impossible.
So…where to with this?
One thing I love, and deeply agree with, that I’ve heard Mel Robbins say repeatedly (can you tell I’m a Mel fan?) is this…and I’m paraphrasing in Deanna-speak…
If you are walking in who God created you to be and you are doing what you know you’re supposed to do, then you must live and lead and let it be. Do not obsess over what people think. Mel repeatedly reminds us that it is not our job to manage people’s emotions in the wake of that, or over function in light of whatever they don’t like about us, our decisions, or our obedience. That’s not our assignment. We’ve got to loose that and let it go. When we do that, it’s like we’re gazing obsessively in the mirror, concerned about what they think rather than what God thinks.
Whew. Why didn’t I know this 30 years ago? This could have saved me a lot of headaches.
There’s a reason Mel Robbins’ Let Them book has sold over 8 million copies by the end of 2025, and why her podcast is #1 in the world. This message is resonating—deeply. (Me included.)
So the next time you feel stressed about what someone might think about you, say about you, believe about you, or are talking smack about you—remember this: You were never meant to gaze into a mirror this much.
Stop it.
Just stop it, and be free.
Disclosure: A few of the books I recommend are linked through Amazon, which means I may receive a small kickback if you decide to purchase. Just know this—I never recommend anything I haven’t read myself or don’t truly believe in.
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