Are you tired of the ups and downs of a situation in your life? Maybe several situations? Are you mentally exhausted from waiting for a breakthrough that seemed right around the corner, only to have your hopes dashed again? Are you struggling to see any light at the end of the tunnel?
Sometimes the hardest part is allowing yourself to hope again. You’ve believed things would change before, and now the change you long for seems further away than ever.
You’ve tried to be patient, but the waiting is taking a toll spiritually, emotionally, or mentally. Somewhere along the way, “When will this happen?” becomes “Will it ever happen?”
That feeling of being “sick and tired” is real. Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” If you’ve lived through a long season of uncertainty, you probably understand that verse in a deeply personal way. I do. Disappointment can follow you into your work, interrupt your sleep, and make ordinary responsibilities feel heavier.
I know what it’s like to feel worn down by something that seems like it will never change. I want to share three things that help me when I’m struggling to hold on to hope. Alongside reading my Bible and praying, these practices help me care for myself and keep moving through the waiting.
Tell the truth about what hurts
We all need a safe place. If you haven’t found yours, please don’t give up. Safe places and safe people exist. It may take time to find people you can trust with the hard things, but you deserve that kind of support.
You don’t have to put a cheerful ending on every sentence. You can say…
“I’m disappointed.”
“I’m afraid nothing is going to change.”
“I thought things would look different by now.”
You can say those things to God. You can say them to someone you trust. And you can leave the sentence right there. You don’t have to tack on, “But praise the Lord, anyway!” before anyone gets uncomfortable.
You can love God and still struggle with what you don’t understand. The Psalms are filled with honest prayers from people asking, “How long?” Sometimes we spend so much energy trying to sound hopeful that we never let anyone know how discouraged we really are.
Find someone trustworthy who can hear the whole sentence without rushing to correct you, preach at you, or explain your pain away. Someone who can pray with you, sit with you, or help you think through what comes next. You deserve support while you’re still in the middle of this.
I’m grateful to have a few friends who let me come as I am. I don’t have to pretty things up for them. I can say, “I am really not okay right now,” without getting a sermon in response. Sometimes I need a hug. Sometimes I need someone to listen while I get it all out. Sometimes I need them to say, “I love you, and I’m here.”
We all need friends like that. And we need to give ourselves permission to let them see how we’re really doing.
Bring your attention back to what you can do today
Fear can take one unanswered question and build an entire future around it. “What if this never changes? What if another year goes by? What if I can’t keep doing this?”
Some of those questions deserve careful thought and may eventually require a decision. But you don’t have to answer all of them tonight. Unless something truly requires immediate action, give yourself room to think without giving in to pressure, from yourself or anyone else, to decide right now.
Ask yourself: “What is one thing I can do today that will help me?”
Make the appointment. Ask for clarification. Update your LinkedIn profile. Reach out to someone who can help you explore your options.
The next step may feel small compared with what you’re facing. Take it anyway. When I take even a small step, that forward movement reminds me that I still have choices. I may not be able to control the outcome, but there are things I can do to help myself.
Caring for yourself and making practical decisions still matter, even when they don’t immediately produce the outcome you want. And if the situation is harming you, consider what needs to change now. Waiting on God can include seeking help, exploring options, and taking action.
Some helpful steps are much more ordinary. Take a walk. Eat something nourishing. Turn off your phone. Give yourself a break from checking for an answer that hasn’t come yet.
When something is weighing heavily on me, I sometimes give myself permission to spend part of a day, or a couple of evenings, binge-watching a show. For a little while, I get to follow somebody else’s storyline instead of replaying my own. It gives my mind a break and lets me unwind.
You’re allowed to rest before the situation is resolved. You don’t have to spend every waking moment thinking about it to prove how much it matters.
Give yourself permission to imagine more than one way forward
Sometimes we become so attached to one outcome that we struggle to picture a meaningful life without it. We know the life we’ve lived, the people in it, and the way things have always been. Without realizing it, we can begin to mistake what’s familiar for all that’s possible.
But there are places you haven’t been, people you haven’t met, and opportunities you haven’t considered. There is more life beyond what you can see from where you’re standing today.
Let yourself consider how things might be different. Even if you don’t want to at first. Even if the thought makes you uncomfortable. You don’t have to commit to anything. Just give another possibility a moment of your attention.
I know you may want a particular person to change or one particular door to open. You’ve invested so much hope in that outcome that considering anything else feels like giving up. But what if something good exists beyond the outcome you’ve been holding on to? What if there are possibilities you haven’t been willing, or ready, to see?
Some losses need to be grieved, and some disappointments take time to absorb. You don’t have to rush that process. But you can gently begin to ask, “What other possibilities are still available to me?”
There may be another opportunity to pursue that you haven’t been open to considering. There may also be a decision you’ve postponed because you hoped someone else would make it unnecessary.
Give yourself permission to imagine a different future. What would you try? Where might you go? What would you change if you stopped assuming things had to stay the way they are? If the answer you’re waiting for doesn’t come, what choices would still be yours to make?
You don’t need a complete plan today. Just leave a little room for a future that looks different from the one you pictured and still holds meaning, joy, and purpose.
You may not feel hopeful right now, but I pray you soon will. Keep nourishing yourself with God’s Word and prayer. Tell someone the truth about how you’re doing. Take one manageable step. And leave room for a possibility you cannot see yet.
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