One of the most important things I’ve learned over time is that leadership is weighty. And leaders need other leaders who understand that weight.
But these relationships don’t always happen automatically. They often grow slowly, intentionally, and sometimes unexpectedly.
Here are three ways to find and nurture relationships with like-minded leaders:
Pay attention to who feels safe and steady
Not every leader will be your close friend. And that’s okay.
But every once in a while, you meet someone and notice:
- The conversation goes deeper quickly
- There is mutual respect
- You sense wisdom and maturity
- You feel safe being honest
Pay attention to that.
Like-minded relationships often begin quietly. A conversation. A shared experience. A moment of vulnerability. These are often the seeds of meaningful leadership friendships.
Don’t overlook those moments. They matter more than you think.
Over time, you learn even more who is trustworthy, and you begin to reveal more to them because they have proven themselves.
Be willing to move beyond surface conversations
I’ve also learned something about myself over the years. I’m not naturally drawn to small talk, at least not for long. I can certainly engage in it when meeting and greeting, and those moments matter. But after a few minutes, I find myself naturally moving toward deeper conversations.
I’m drawn to people who are willing to talk about what really matters. Calling. Leadership. Growth. The things we’re learning and carrying in this season.
For me, this isn’t forced. It’s simply a natural progression. After the initial introductions, I tend to gravitate toward those who are open to going beneath the surface. And over time, those deeper conversations often become the beginning of meaningful leadership relationships.
I’ve found that some of the most important connections in my life didn’t start with anything dramatic. They simply began when two people were willing to move past small talk… and into something more meaningful.
Like-minded leadership relationships don’t grow in shallow spaces. They grow when someone is willing to open up and say something like:
“This season is hard…” or
“I’m not sure what to do…” or
“I’m carrying more right now than people realize…”
When one person takes that step, it often creates space for the other to do the same. And over time, trust forms. And trust is what allows leaders to support one another in meaningful ways.
Invest consistently, even in small ways
Deep relationships don’t require constant communication. But they do require intentionality.
A simple, “I’m thinking about you today,” or
“I’m lifting you up specifically today because I know it’s the start of your conference…” or
“How are things going with the situation you talked to me about a few weeks ago?”
These small moments build something strong over time.
Leadership can feel lonely at times. But when you find people who understand your calling, your responsibility, and your heart, those relationships become a steady source of encouragement.
Proverbs 27:17 reminds us that, “Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens another.” Sometimes the greatest strength God gives us in leadership s not just wisdom or opportunity. Sometimes it’s the people He places beside us.
There are times I’ve made it through to another day or week in leadership because a friend reached out to talk to me about how I was doing. I try to be that for others as much as I can.
One thing that has become increasingly clear to me is that some of the relationships that sharpen me the most aren’t always with people in close proximity. I’ve learned not to discount meaningful connections simply because we don’t live near each other.
The world continues to grow smaller. Technology makes it easier than ever to stay connected, and travel opportunities make in-person time more possible than it once was. Because of this, I’ve made it a priority to intentionally nurture relationships with leaders who strengthen and challenge me, even from a distance.
One practical way I do this is by scheduling regular Zoom conversations with a few trusted leader friends. These are people I meet with individually, often once a month, just to talk face to face, even if it’s virtually. We share what we’re carrying, what we’re learning, and where we sense God leading us.
And without fail, I always leave those conversations feeling different. Encouraged. Grounded. Strengthened. Better.
Distance doesn’t have to limit meaningful leadership relationships. Sometimes, with a little intentionality, those relationships can become some of the most life-giving ones we have.
In leadership, we often focus on strategy, vision, and responsibility. But some of the greatest strength we’ll ever receive comes through the relationships God places in our lives. When you find leaders who understand your heart, sharpen your thinking, and encourage your calling, invest in those relationships. They may become one of the most important ways God sustains you for the journey ahead.
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