This is one of my favorite places along my walks in Richmond, Virginia. Most people in my life have never walked this path with me, yet it has become one of the most sacred and significant places in my journey.
I have walked here carrying questions, memories, prayers, grief, gratitude, and dreams. Much of what these walks have held will never be visible in a photograph.
In just a few days, I will hold something in my hands that once seemed impossible: my book, Finding Mr. Greek, will officially enter the world.
People will see the finished book. They will see the cover, the photographs, the endorsements, the interviews, and the celebration surrounding its release.
But what they won’t see, and what no photograph could ever fully capture, is everything that came before it.
That is the part of a dream most people never see.
They won’t see the decades of unanswered questions. They won’t see the little girl who wondered where she came from or the grown woman who continued searching for answers. They won’t see the doors that closed, the tears that fell, the courage it took to tell the truth, or the moments when I wondered whether I had the strength to keep going. That is the part of a dream most people never see.
We usually encounter someone’s dream at its most visible moment. We see the book after it has been published, the ministry after it has grown, the business after it has succeeded, or the person after they have healed enough to tell their story. We see the breakthrough, but we don’t see everything that preceded it.
As I prepare for the release of this book, I have been thinking about what happens before a dream becomes visible. Here are five truths I have learned.
What looks sudden may have taken years
A lot of times people ask me how certain things have happened for me. For sure, God has shown up and done a work. But I’ve also been really busy doing what He told me to do. We often describe someone as an “overnight success” because we became aware of their work overnight. But our discovery of their dream is not the same as the beginning of it. What appears sudden to others may have required years, or even decades, of perseverance.
There was nothing sudden about Finding Mr. Greek. The book has a release date, but the story does not. In many ways, this story began before I was born. It traveled through decades of questions, searching, losses, discoveries, relationships, and revelations before it ever became a manuscript.
The day a dream becomes visible is rarely the day it began.
Never minimize the years that preceded the moment. The lessons you learned, the character you developed, and the strength you gained along the way are all part of the dream.
When I think of Mr. Greek finally releasing, the thoughts coming up in my mind aren’t about signing someone’s book or having people tell me how much they enjoy the book. It’s the memories I call up in my mind like the biggest moments of defeat with my search team. Times like Christmas Eve Communion when my friend Gayle and I would pray every single year for a breakthrough on the case. And times when Larry had to talk me down off the ledge. It’s all I’ve had to overcome to get to this point that make this victory so very sweet.
Hidden seasons are not wasted seasons
There are seasons when it seems as if nothing is happening. You are working, praying, preparing, and believing, but there is little visible evidence of progress. Other people appear to be moving forward while you remain in the same place. It can be tempting to believe that your faithfulness is producing nothing. But roots grow in the dark.
God often does some of His deepest work in us before He does something visible through us. In hidden seasons, He develops our character, clarifies our motives, deepens our dependence on Him, and prepares us to carry what we have asked Him to give us.
David was anointed king long before he sat on the throne. Joseph received a dream long before he stepped into the palace. Esther spent months preparing before she approached the king. Waiting was not evidence that God had forgotten them. Preparation was part of the promise.
I am a different person today because of what I went through to get to this season of victory. Do not mistake hiddenness for insignificance. What God is developing within you may be just as important as what He is preparing for you.
Dreams require stewardship, not merely desire
It is possible to want something deeply without being prepared to steward it faithfully. A dream usually requires more than desire. It requires discipline, growth, sacrifice, and repeated obedience. At some point, we must move beyond saying, “I hope this happens,” and ask, “What is mine to do?”
For me, during the search that meant getting up and trying again when a DNA test with someone wasn’t a match. It meant continuing to search even when people got ugly with me about the fact that I was searching. Then it meant sitting down and writing. It meant returning to painful memories, organizing the details, revising pages, and continuing when the process was exhausting. Prayer was essential, but prayer did not remove my responsibility to do the work.
Faith and action are not enemies. James reminds us that faith without works is dead. There are things only God can do, but there are also things He has entrusted to us. We cannot control every outcome, but we can steward the assignment in front of us.
What step can you take with what is already in your hands?
Courage often comes before confidence
We sometimes believe we need to feel confident before we move forward. But many important steps are taken while we still feel uncertain.
Writing a book is one kind of work. Writing the truth about your own life is another. There were times when I stared at the page and wondered how much I was willing to reveal. Some parts of the story required me to revisit pain I would have preferred to leave undisturbed. I had to decide whether I would tell the truth even if it was misunderstood. I did not always feel fearless. I simply knew I needed to keep going. Courage is not the absence of fear. It is the decision that fear will not make the final decision.
Sometimes faith looks like taking the next step while your hands are still shaking. Sometimes it looks like applying again, trying again, writing another page, having the difficult conversation, or walking through a door without knowing exactly what is on the other side.
You may not become confident and then act. Confidence may develop because you acted courageously.
The person you become is part of the fulfilled dream
We tend to believe that fulfillment is found entirely in reaching the destination. But God is not only concerned about getting something into our hands. He is also concerned about what is being formed in our hearts.
The greatest miracle may not be that the door opened, the opportunity came, or the dream finally materialized. The miracle may also be that you survived what could have destroyed you. You learned to trust God more deeply. You developed wisdom, compassion, endurance, and courage. You became someone capable of carrying the answer for which you had prayed.
In a few days, I will celebrate the release of a book. But I will also celebrate every version of myself who kept going before she knew how the story would end.
What are you carrying toward fulfillment?
Perhaps you are still living in the hidden part of your story. Your prayer may not have been answered in the way you hoped. Your dream may not be visible yet. You may have more questions than conclusions. The absence of an announcement does not mean the absence of God. The lack of visible progress does not mean your faithfulness has been wasted.
Ask yourself: What is God developing in me during this season? What has He placed in my hands to steward? What step of courage can I take now? Who am I becoming as I continue to wait and work?
Some stories take longer because there is more being written than we can presently see. Keep taking the next step. Continue to steward your journey well.
One day, people may see the finished work and call it a dream come true.
But you will know the truth:
The miracle was not only that the dream finally came to pass.
The miracle was also that, through everything it took to get there, you kept going.
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