Last week I shared three unexpected things I’ve discovered since turning 60. Growing older has challenged many of the assumptions I once believed about aging. Instead of becoming less, I find myself becoming more.
Here are three more ways turning 60 has changed me, for the better.
I’ve become more resilient…not less.
Sixty hasn’t protected me from heartbreak.
I’ve buried parents and dear friends. I’ve experienced disappointment, betrayal, and seasons I never would have chosen. But every difficult chapter has taught me something. Every hard season has strengthened a muscle I didn’t even know I possessed.
Resilience isn’t pretending you’re okay.
It’s discovering that God’s grace is still enough when you’re not.
I don’t live a perfect life—far from it. I am deeply grateful for my life, but there are still things that grieve me. There are situations I wish were different. Some relationships remain complicated. Some circumstances are simply unhealthy. I still have days when I cry. Days when I pound my fist on the table in frustration. Days when I bury my face in a pillow and ask God, “Really?”
But those days don’t define me. They are shaping me. I’ve learned that resilience isn’t the absence of pain. It’s the decision to keep moving forward even when the pain hasn’t disappeared. Somehow, God has a way of redeeming even the hardest places.
The lessons I’ve learned through these struggles are making me a better leader, a wiser coach, a more compassionate friend, and a stronger writer. I have no doubt that some of my future books will be born from today’s struggles. The encouragement I offer others tomorrow will be forged in the fires I’m walking through today.
That’s how God works. He never wastes our pain.
So yes, there are still difficult days. But at 60, I’m not falling apart. I’m becoming stronger.
And when all is said and done…I’ll still be standing.
I’ve become more adventurous…not less.
Some people think life slows down at 60. For me, it feels like a new chapter.
I’m still discovering my Greek heritage, traveling in new ways, writing books that have unexpectedly become some of the most favorite topics I’ve ever written about,started working with adoptees more, and I’m dreaming about what’s next. I’m genuinely excited about the future. Age hasn’t diminished my curiosity or my adventure. It’s fueled it.
I can’t wait to try new things, and go to places undiscovered, and step out of my comfort zone even more.
I’ve become more authentic…not less.
I spent too many years worrying about disappointing people. Now I care far more about being honest than being impressive.
I’ve discovered that authenticity attracts the right people and gives others permission to be themselves too.
One thing that has changed is that when I discover someone doesn’t like me, I’m grateful to know sooner rather than later. It’s not so I can win them over. I’m not even going to bother to try to win anyone over. I’m glad to know sooner so I can quickly move on to one of the other 8.2 billion people in the world who would be a more suitable friend or associate. The world is full of people and I know some of my very best friends, I just haven’t met yet.
I advise you…don’t spend your time knocking yourself out to befriend people who for whatever reason do not like you. There are people who would love to be your friend. Trust me on this. I do want to give one caveat…if God tells me to win someone over, I do obey Him on that. But if He doesn’t tell me to do it, I don’t bother to try to do it.
A word of encouragement…
I’ve talked to so many people who dread turning sixty. In fact, just yesterday I met a woman who told me she’s absolutely terrified of reaching this milestone.
Here’s what I want to say to her—and to anyone else who feels the same way.
Turning sixty is not what it used to be.
For much of human history, reaching sixty was uncommon. Around 1800, no region of the world had an average life expectancy above 40 years. In 1900, the average life expectancy in the United States was just 47.3 years. Today, it’s nearly 79 years, and many people will live well into their eighties, nineties, and beyond.
Thanks to advances in medicine, nutrition, sanitation, vaccines, antibiotics, and public health, we’re living longer than any generation before us. And the pace of medical innovation continues to accelerate. New discoveries—including advances in artificial intelligence that are already helping researchers develop treatments and detect diseases earlier—offer even more reason to be hopeful about the future.
Think about that for a moment.
If you’re turning sixty today, there’s a very real possibility that you still have decades ahead of you.
This isn’t the final chapter.
For many of us, it’s the beginning of one of the richest seasons of our lives.
So if you’re approaching sixty with fear, let me encourage you. Don’t spend your time mourning what you think you’ve lost. Start looking with anticipation toward what God may still have in store. Growing older doesn’t have to mean becoming less.
Sometimes it means finally becoming the person God has been shaping all along.
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