The biggest choice people often throw away is the choice to lead themselves. How often do other people make a choice that negatively affects you, and you respond by doing something that hurts YOU even worse?  I’ve done it too many times to count. One of the worst things I have done over the years is get mad at someone and in response, eat a bag of potato chips. I know, I know…It makes NO SENSE.

Back in 2004, a man rammed into the back of my car when I was sitting at a red light, smashing in the back end. My car was a  Mustang convertible that my husband bought me for my birthday. It was my very first car after 38 years of waiting. A lot of sacrifice led up to that car. Due to us co-pastoring for all the years from the beginning of our marriage, we could never afford two cars for the first 18 years. Larry said when we could eventually have two cars, it would be worth it.  It was. Oh how I cherished that car for all it represented. Just a year before getting that car, when our family would go to McDonalds we would get one large drink and five straws, and share. It was all we could afford. My kids now think it’s hilarious but back at the time, they did not.  When an increase came in our finances, we could finally stop getting just one drink and five straws at McDonalds, and I could have my own car. Our family felt like kings.

I referred to the man who ran into my car as “Mr RFK” because those were the first three letters of his license plate, but all I could remember of it. Right after he hit me, he asked me if we could pull over into the gas station across the street since we were blocking traffic with the accident. I believed the best in his intentions to stop blocking traffic at a busy intersection on Florida Ave in Tampa,  and agreed to his request, but as soon as we got back into our cars, he quickly sped away, leaving me there with a smashed up car, and the bill for it.

When the police finally arrived, they thought I was badly injured because I was crying so hard. They wanted to call an ambulance.  I reassured them I wasn’t physically hurt at all, I was just really mad and it was coming out in tears rather than screaming and yelling.

Since the police can’t find someone with just half a license plate number, I would end up being stuck with the bill to fix my smashed up car.  They said he was probably uninsured and that was why he fled, and there was nothing they could do. They told me there was very little hope of ever finding the driver. I went home with the desire of eating ten hot fudge sundaes although I can only recollect eating two.  I used to joke that if I ever saw Mr. RFK again in public we’d not only have a hit and run to deal with, but an assault and battery.

So what did I do with all this rage over Mr. RFK wrecking my car and leaving me with the bill? Well, I decided in response to go to the gym. Every day. 7 days a week, pedaling as fast as I could until I didn’t feel angry anymore,  I did an hour on an elliptical machine every day for several months.  I worked out to a song list I made that was specifically designed to help me burn off all the anger.  I’m sure people at the gym thought I was crazy at times, pedaling like I was fixing to kill somebody.

Someone else’s choices don’t take away all of your choices. Maybe you just need a reminder that you still have control of you, no matter what others do. Jesus  gave you that control. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and SELF CONTROL.”  (Galatians 5:22, emphasis mine.) How can you exercise the fruit of the spirit of self-control to bring a better outcome…one that actually helps and not hinders you?

Now is not the time to thrash around emotionally and lay there crying, as if there is no hope. It’s time to focus on something positive at your disposal. It’s time to counteract the choice someone else has made with your own choice – one that actually works for you and not against you. It’s time to exercise the secret sauce of the fruit of the Spirit of SELF CONTROL. Lead yourself with something positive to counteract the disappointment.

If I saw Mr. RFK out and about Tampa now, I would feel no rage or be  inclined toward an assault and battery. I’d just say, “Hey, thanks for giving me the best legs I ever had back in 2004.