My friend Judi and I were having a deep conversation one day about redemption and the importance of partnering with God to allow Him to redeem even the most painful circumstances in our lives. Judi said something I had never thought of before, and it immediately resonated with me. She mentioned the true crime shows that she and I both enjoy watching such as Dateline or Forensic Files. She said, “Did you ever notice the family members left behind of those who were murdered? When they interview them, you can see a difference between those who are filled with hate, bitterness and resentment and those who speak of forgiveness toward the offender. Those who are resentful and bitter look worn and haggard and aged. Those who reference things like forgiveness have a whole different countenance.”

YES! YES! Oh my stars, YES.

If you haven’t paid attention, start doing so.

You’ll notice it, too.

Holding on to all of these negative emotions will terribly age a person not to mention, make them sick.

Now puhhhlease…don’t take away ridiculous things from what Judi and I were discussing:

Disclaimers…

We are not condoning murder. (I can’t even believe I have to give such disclaimers but somebody may come to a ridiculous conclusion like that.)

We are not saying it’s okay to harm anyone.

We are not saying that family members and friends don’t have a right to be devastated when their family members are assaulted, murdered, or harmed in any way.

The point is that resentment, bitterness, anger and the like that continue unchecked will never lead to anything good.

It ages you.

It exhausts you.

It drains the very life out of you.

It doesn’t make anything better.

It makes everything worse.

It compounds your pain.

It isn’t just family members who are murdered that evoke responses such as this. You can hang on to hurt and pain, of any kind.

A variety of disappointments and losses can lead to long-term anger, bitterness, hate, resentment, envy, jealousy, and more.

 

God will redeem all. The question is…will you let Him?

 

Will you partner with Him in the redemption process?

Because you can fight Him.

You can dig your heels in and refuse to cooperate with the redemption process.

You can squander every bit of grace and glory that can come from this, or you can choose to partner with the Holy Spirit to see amazing things happen as a result of allowing God to use your pain for His glory.

 

Meet My Friend, Jean Hale

 

She’s the gal in the red hat in this photo that was taken at a recent women’s retreat.

Jean is a woman who was a member of a church Larry and I pastored for ten years in Manchester, Maryland. Every year I go back to Manchester to lead a retreat called “Just Us Girls” for the women who attended the church during the season when we pastored there. Jean always attends this retreat.

The past year or two, Jean has been fighting a battle with cancer. Right now the struggle is fierce. As we prayed for her this past week at the retreat, she shared, “I just don’t want any of this to be wasted.” And I immediately responded, “It won’t be! Because God never wastes anything, AND you don’t want it to be wasted either. You are determined to partner with God so it won’t be wasted.”

Jean wants every speck of her cancer journey to be utilized for God’s glory, and I have no doubt it will be. She is not about to let this happen without it being used in mighty ways to bring people to Christ or closer to Christ.

Jean shared at the retreat that they doctors at Johns Hopkins had given her no hope at all. They said this cancer would take her life. Yet, she remained joyful and hopeful and we prayed faith-filled prayers for her her miracle. Just today I received the following text…six days after those powerpacked prayers were prayed by the women at the retreat:

 

 

I noticed that not only was God’s redemption of the situation so important to Jean, but so was her concern for others. Despite her condition, she was one of the first people to hop up and volunteer to lay hands on others and believe for their miracle. This reminds me of Job 42:10:

“When Job prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes. In fact, the Lord gave him twice as much as before!”

With all of the blessings of God’s redemption, why do some people not take advantage of it?

Why are some people so intent on staying the same when life can be so different?

 

3 Reasons People Refuse Redemption:

 

1) Their identity is tied to their pain

 

For some, their pain becomes a significant part of their identity. They might struggle to imagine who they are without it. If they choose to let go of the pain they are holding onto, they may wonder who they will be and what they will do next.

 

2) They find comfort in familiarity

 

Even though pain is uncomfortable, it can be familiar and predictable, providing a strange sense of comfort. For example, there are those who stir up chaos and drama because that is what they grew up with. It feels normal to them. They create an atmosphere of chaos, even though they don’t need live that way. Just the same there are those who insist on remaining in pain although it hurts because it is what they know and they would rather face what they know than what they don’t know. Speaking of that…

 

3) They have a fear of the unknown

 

Moving forward often involves stepping into the unknown, which can be frightening. People might fear the uncertainty of what lies ahead more than the pain they are currently experiencing.

All of these are reasons people do this, BUT they are not acceptable reasons for refusing to allow God to have His way in your life.

Don’t make your hurt and pain more important than what Jesus has done for you!

 

“When you make what Jesus has done for you greater than what anyone has done to you, then you can rise up, change your posture, and walk with your head held high into the fullness of the future He’s got for you!”

Christine Caine

 

God can redeem anything – but we have to let Him.

If we refuse to cooperate with God in the plan of redemption, we miss out and so do others around us. We hold ourselves and our future hostage and also have a present impact on those around us that is life-draining and not life-giving.

In short, our pain becomes an idol

Redemption doesn’t happen by accident. It is a choice.

God made the choice to send Jesus into the world, to redeem us from our sins.

Jesus made the choice to cooperate with the plan of God the Father, and went to the cross so that we might be saved and redeemed.

We must make the choice to allow God to redeem us not only from sin, but to redeem all of the hurt and pain in our lives, for His glory.