I didn’t always get what I needed out of therapy. When I was in my twenties, I saw a Christian counselor who was not trauma-informed at all. Therefore, our sessions were a waste of time. It was not until I found Melissa, a licensed mental health counselor who helped me for eight months, that I experienced real life change and healing.  As we worked on one issue, it led to us dealing with many other areas as well. The changes I experienced in my life through those sessions have lasted to this day. One day Melissa let me know that we had arrived at a point where I was healed, and had all the tools I needed to move forward. She said that it was time to wean me from therapy, and move forward with the tools I had been given. I was a little sad that we were done, but I accepted what she said, and we ended therapy.

Over the years, I have regretted that decision.

What I received from those sessions was absolutely transformational. And although the issues I originally went to her for are resolved, life issues didn’t stop. They don’t stop for anyone…and especially for a leader! We have not only the same kind of issues everyone else does in life, but an added layer that we deal with related to leadership.

I started going to therapy again after Gus came into my life, to navigate the reunion process and our relationship in general as well as his death and the grief process. And I’ve decided to stay in therapy for life. I don’t see this as a weakness, I see it as a strength.

A friend of mine told me that her pastor made a comment that, “Therapy is for people who don’t know how to seek the Lord.” I see that viewpoint as weak, and probably coming from someone who has never been in therapy and has many unresolved issues they need to work on. Truth be told, Christian therapy IS one way of seeking the Lord. Christian therapy with a licensed professional trauma-informed counselor has brought the greatest spiritual growth in my life that I have ever experienced.

Here are the list of reasons why I’m going to keep a therapist on retainer for life:

Mental health 

Addressing mental health is just as important as physical health. I get regular check ups with my primary care, gynecologist, dermatologist, dentist and more. Why wouldn’t I do this with my mental health, as well?

Emotional support 

As I already mentioned, the challenges of life don’t stop. But for a leader, they are increased. We deal with other people’s problems too, not just our own. And we have additional layers of disappointment, losses, betrayal, and for Christian leaders — spiritual warfare. Having a therapist navigate those tough times with you is invaluable.

Improved self-awareness

Therapy reveals things about us that we learn in no other way. It helps to have a trained professional spot patterns and other areas in our lives where we may have blind spots.

New strategies 

Therapy sessions have provided me with tools and resources that I need to move forward through the blows of life. These are techniques I wouldn’t have just happened upon unless someone shared them with me, and learned how to specifically apply them to my life.

Personal development

I’ve attended hundreds of leadership seminars and workshops and other avenues for personal development but therapy has taken me further than all of those. I am not the same leader today than I was twenty years ago, and the main reason for that are the changes I made through help I received in therapy.

Building resilience

Therapy helps in developing mental muscle and bounce-back skills. I’ve shown up for therapy many times thinking, “I can’t cope with this one more day,” and by the time the session is over I have received three things to help me do just that.

Customized care

Reading books and listening to podcasts is great, but having care specific to the exact problems you’re going through is extremely valuable.

These are just a few of my personal reasons for continuing with therapy and I hope they are food for thought for others who may be thinking about going for the first time or continuing to go.

What has your experience been with therapy? I’d love to hear about it.