# Dr. Deanna Shrodes > Authentic Life and Leadership ## Posts - [3 Things My Husband and I
Learned the Hard Way](https://drdeannashrodes.com/marriage/3-things-my-husband-and-i-learned-the-hard-way-after-38-years-of-marriage/): After 38 years of marriage, Larry and I have learned a few things… and many of them the hard way. Like many couples, we’ve had beautiful seasons and very difficult ones. There were times we wondered if certain things would ever change, and seasons where we simply tried to survive. But over time, we’ve learned some lessons that changed the way we see marriage, growth, and what’s actually possible. Here are three things we learned the hard way. If it matters to your spouse, it needs to matter to you If something matters deeply to your spouse, it needs to […] - [5 Ways Leaders Can Stop Taking Things Personally and Lead with Confidence](https://drdeannashrodes.com/leadership/5-ways-leaders-can-stop-taking-things-personally-and-lead-with-confidence/): One of the most important lessons I’ve learned in leadership is that if I take everything personally, it will exhaust me. Leadership puts you in the path of so many opinions, emotions, disagreements, criticism and misunderstandings. And if you absorb all of that personally, it’s overwhelming. Here is an important truth: Much of what happens around you as a leader is not actually about you at all. It took me a super long time to realize that. This is one of those things I wish I knew much earlier in my leadership journey. Here are five things that have helped […] - [3 Ways to Find and Nurture
Healthy Leadership Relationships](https://drdeannashrodes.com/leadership/3-ways-to-find-and-nurture-healthy-leadership-relationships/): One of the most important things I’ve learned over time is that leadership is weighty. And leaders need other leaders who understand that weight. But these relationships don’t always happen automatically. They often grow slowly, intentionally, and sometimes unexpectedly. Here are three ways to find and nurture relationships with like-minded leaders: Pay attention to who feels safe and steady Not every leader will be your close friend. And that’s okay. But every once in a while, you meet someone and notice: The conversation goes deeper quickly There is mutual respect You sense wisdom and maturity You feel safe being honest […] - [Why Wise Leaders Don't React Quickly](https://drdeannashrodes.com/uncategorized/why-wise-leaders-dont-react-quickly/): There’s a moment every leader faces, sometimes more often than we’d like to admit. An email comes in. A comment is made. Someone asks permission to do something. A situation unfolds that feels urgent, emotional, or even personal. And everything in you wants to respond… immediately. You want to get it off of your plate as quickly as it came in. But over time, I’ve learned this: Wise leaders don’t react quickly. Not because they don’t care, or because they are passive. But because they understand the weight of their response. Not Everything Requires an Immediate Answer Earlier in leadership, […] - [3 Small Things to Look Forward To
When Life Feels Heavy](https://drdeannashrodes.com/grief/3-small-things-to-look-forward-to-when-life-feels-heavy/): One of the quiet disciplines I’ve been practicing lately is something very simple. I keep a short list of the next three things I’m looking forward to. Not ten things.Not a long bucket list. Just three. I keep them in the notes part of my phone. And when I can check one of those three off, I quickly put something else in it’s place, so that I’m always anticipating something. I read my list at least once or twice a week, sometimes more, to remind myself of good things I have coming up. And…sometimes when I’m sitting in the midst […] - [Larry & Deanna's 15 Rules for Marriage](https://drdeannashrodes.com/marriage/larry-deannas-15-rules-for-marriage/): Recently Larry and I had the opportunity to share at a marriage conference and with the couples at our church about the 15 rules we live by in our marriage. These didn’t come from a book or a single conversation. They were shaped over years of walking through life together—some from the very beginning, others learned along the way. Every couple will develop their own rhythms and standards, but these are the ones that have anchored us. After 38 years of marriage, they continue to serve us well. Church is a non-negotiable   Not because we are pastors. Because we […] - [Learning to Trust God in
Seasons That Don't Make Sense Yet](https://drdeannashrodes.com/anxiety/learning-to-trust-god-in-seasons-that-dont-make-sense-yet/): There are seasons in life when everything feels clear. Doors open. Direction feels certain.Energy is strong.Faith feels uncomplicated.Good surprises are happening. Dang, I love living life like that. When I sense I’m in a season like that, part of me wants time to freeze. But it never does. Eventually things shift. The sweet spot never lasts forever. Out of nowhere, unexpected things appear, and they are not the good surprises. I find myself flat on my face, begging God to intervene. Answers aren’t visible, and everything feels unresolved. I hate those seasons. Yet some of my greatest growth has come […] - [Two Leaders, One Marriage:
(5 Things We Learned the Hard Way)](https://drdeannashrodes.com/christian-living/two-leaders-one-marriage-5-things-we-learned-the-hard-way/): When two leaders live under one roof, it can be powerful. It’s also complex. After 38 years, Larry and I have a little experience in this. This is not our first rodeo. Both of us carry significant responsibility. We each have strong convictions, instincts, and opinions shaped by decades of calling and leadership. We know how to make decisions. We know how to hold ground. We know how to lead. And then… we come home. Over the years, we have learned, sometimes the hard way, that leadership skills do not automatically translate into relational health. In fact, the very strengths […] - [Why Giving Up Isn’t the Answer
(Especially When You’re Tired as a Leader)](https://drdeannashrodes.com/midlife/why-giving-up-isnt-the-answer-especially-when-youre-tired-as-a-leader/): I’ve wanted to give up on important things in life and leadership more times than I can count. And by the way, it’s not wrong to want to give up. It’s normal. For clarity, when I talk about giving up in this post, I’m not simply referring to stepping down from a position or role. Giving up can take many forms in life and leadership. I’m talking about the temptation to walk away from something that matters deeply to you and that you know you are called to, or at least once believed you were called to. That might look […] - [The Different Kinds of Tired
(And How to Move Forward)](https://drdeannashrodes.com/soul-care/the-different-kinds-of-tired-and-how-to-move-forward/): Have you found yourself thinking, “I’m more tired than I’ve ever been before?”  You’re not alone. There are different kinds of tired… and not all of them are fixed by sleep. Sometimes you’re tired because you truly need rest. You’ve been running hard, working long, traveling, serving, and doing what responsible adults do…showing up and carrying the weight. A good nap, an early bedtime, or a quiet Saturday morning can genuinely make you feel human again. But other times, you sleep for eight hours and wake up still tired. That’s when we need to recognize something important: Not all tiredness […] - [We Are Never at the End...
Until We Are](https://drdeannashrodes.com/christian-living/we-are-never-at-the-end-until-we-are/): I know that sentence can sound heavy, but I actually find it freeing. We are never at the end, until we are. Maybe you’re reading this today and you are discouraged. For whatever reason, you you feel you’ve come to the end of something. Maybe it’s your leadership journey, your marriage, your calling, or the end of what God can do with any issue you are struggling with. And, it’s very likely that you are wrong about this. Be careful with statements like: “Nothing is ever going to change.” “This is how it will always be.” “I’m done.” “It’s too […] - [Were Humans Meant to Look at Themselves?
What Mirrors Reveal About Self-Criticism, Faith, and Identity](https://drdeannashrodes.com/christian-living/were-humans-meant-to-look-at-themselves-what-mirrors-reveal-about-self-criticism-faith-and-identity/): So I was listening to Jay Shetty’s latest podcast featuring Mel Robbins, and it honestly rocked my world. The topic was How to Stop People Pleasing Without Feeling Guilty. And during the conversation, Mel made a statement that stopped me in my tracks: humankind was never meant to have mirrors. What?! Let me quote her directly so I don’t misrepresent what she said. Mel put it this way: “Self-criticism has really gone through the roof, because check this out. We were never supposed to see ourselves. No, no, no, no—really, really—hang with me for a minute here. Yeah, like let’s […] - [Let Them and Let Me
(Boundaries, Freedom & Emotional Health)](https://drdeannashrodes.com/mental-health/let-them-and-let-me-boundaries-freedom-emotional-health/): The book The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins has been my most impactful book of 2025. It will be one I will revisit in the future to remind myself of the important truths it contains…ones that are key to my everyday peace. The wisdom of the book has been weighing heavily on me lately, not just because of the phrase “let them,” but because of what comes after it. It’s easy to focus on the first part: Let them react how they react.Let them choose what they choose.Let them walk the path they insist on walking. But what has impacted […] - [5 Things You DON'T Have to Do Next Year!](https://drdeannashrodes.com/change/5-things-you-dont-have-to-do-this-year/): As a new year approaches, the noise gets louder. Do more.Fix more.Plan better.Be stronger.Get it together. Suddenly, the turning of the calendar feels less like an invitation and more like a performance review. So before you step into another year feeling behind, pressured, or already tired, let me offer you something different. Today I want to share five things you  DON’T have to do this year. 1. You Don’t Have to Have It All Figured Out You don’t need a perfectly mapped plan.You don’t need clarity on every decision.You don’t need to know how everything will turn out. Faith has […] - [Disappointed but Still Called:
How Leaders Get Reappointed After Hurt](https://drdeannashrodes.com/leadership/disappointed-but-still-called-how-leaders-get-reappointed-after-hurt/): I once heard Joyce Meyer say something in one of her messages that stopped me in my tracks. She said, “When you get disappointed, you need to get reappointed.” At first glance, it sounded clever, almost like a catchy play on words. But the longer it sat with me, the more weight it carried. Because disappointment has a way of quietly knocking leaders off their assignment if we’re not careful. Last night, during our Stronger Leadership Cohort Zoom, one of the leaders voiced something that seemed to resonated deeply with everyone…that being disappointed by people seems to be a constant, […] - [What Pushing in a Chair Taught Me About Consideration and Character](https://drdeannashrodes.com/christian-living/what-pushing-in-a-chair-taught-me-about-consideration-and-character/): In the past few weeks I came across an article that got my attention on LinkedIn. It was titled, People Who Push Their Chair Back in When They Leave a Table Usually Display These 8 Unique Qualities, by Jitendra Patel. I was immediately attracted to read it because I always push my chair in. I never even thought about it before, honestly. It’s second nature to me. And I realized as I was reading that not only do I push my chair in, but I’ll go around the table and push other chairs in too…sometimes even if it’s not my […] - [Why Great Leaders Don’t
Try to Know Everything](https://drdeannashrodes.com/books/why-great-leaders-dont-try-to-know-everything/): When Larry and I were newly married and still in college, he had a baseball championship game. I was running late, so as I hurried up the hill toward the field, a group of friends came sprinting down, waving their arms like the place was on fire. “DEANNA! GET UP HERE QUICK!! YOUR HUSBAND IS PITCHING A NO-HITTER!!” I stared at them, concerned, trying to calm them down. With full sympathy, I said, “It’s okay, guys… I’m sure he’ll do much better if you just give him time.” They looked at me like I had dropped in from another planet, […] - [10 Books I’m Thankful For
(and Why They Changed My Life)](https://drdeannashrodes.com/christian-living/10-books-im-thankful-for-and-why-they-changed-my-life/): As we enter this season of gratitude, I’ve been reflecting on the voices that have shaped me this year…not just the people I love, but the words that have strengthened my soul, sharpened my leadership, and steadied my heart. Some books are enjoyable, but others become companions. They sit with us during early morning coffee, late-night prayers, hard decisions, or quiet breakthroughs. These are the books I find myself returning to, quoting from, gifting to others, and thanking God for. Today, I’m sharing ten of them with you—because I believe they might do the same for you. Before I jump […] - [The Spiritual Maturity Test
Most of Us Overlook](https://drdeannashrodes.com/christian-living/the-spiritual-maturity-test-most-of-us-overlook/): This morning, coffee in hand and yes…scrolling from the bathtub (don’t judge)…I saw friends’ cruise photos. Caribbean blue, wind-tossed hair, big happy grins… the kind of shots that make you want to start packing. And I’ll confess: when I get home from a trip, I often feel like I need another one. I know, total first-world problem, but the struggle is real. But here’s the thing…when I saw my friends’ photos, I didn’t feel jealous. Not even a twinge. The first thought I had was, “good for them!” And it’s not because I get to go on cruises too. Let’s […] - [What the Titus 2 Model Looks Like Today](https://drdeannashrodes.com/christian-living/what-the-titus-2-model-looks-like-today/): At a recent conference, I joined a panel on mentoring. The conversation was rich, and the questions were worth keeping—so I’m sharing my full Q&A here with the questions that were specifically directed toward me. Titus 2:3-4 says: “Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live… to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women…”  Titus 2:3-4 Question 1: What does the Titus 2 model look like in a modern context, especially across generations that often think so differently? In a modern context, it looks like authentic relationship, not hierarchy. It looks […] - [The Power of Self-Leadership:
Why Great Leaders Spend Half Their Time Leading Themselves](https://drdeannashrodes.com/leadership/the-power-of-self-leadership-why-great-leaders-spend-half-their-time-leading-themselves/): This is a busy week for me. Every week is busy, but this one is extra because I’m preparing for vacation, which means double the prep if I truly want to unplug. Even so, I had a very early doctor’s appointment today to establish care with a new physician. My former doctor—whom I trusted and loved—had a baby and chose to be a stay-at-home mom. She recommended someone new, and I met him this morning. With everything going on, why make time for that right now? In my early thirties, I read an article by Dee Hock that changed me. […] - [When Your Pastor Is the Family in Need:
Why Churches Must Care for Their Leaders](https://drdeannashrodes.com/church/when-your-pastor-is-the-family-in-need-why-churches-must-care-for-their-leaders/): I want to start by saying this: I’m not writing this because I personally need more income.Larry and I are very well cared for, and we’re grateful. But there was a time when that wasn’t the case. And I know this post will only be truly understood when written by someone who isn’t struggling financially right now—because otherwise, it can sound like begging. So today, I’m speaking on behalf of the pastors and their families who are still struggling. The Box Story Years ago, when Larry and I were pastoring in another location, a woman in our church came to […] - [Recognizing How to Hear God's Voice](https://drdeannashrodes.com/christian-living/recognizing-how-to-hear-gods-voice/): Have you ever wondered if God was trying to speak to you—but you weren’t sure how to tell? Maybe you’ve prayed, “Lord, I want to hear You,” and then found yourself second-guessing every thought or feeling that followed. You’re not alone. I hear from God on a daily basis but when I was first starting out, I second guessed myself a lot. I often explain to people that when I first met my husband back in 1985, he would call me and say, “Hey Deanna, this is Larry…” but now, he never introduces himself. When he calls he just starts […] - [Enjoying the Work You Prayed For](https://drdeannashrodes.com/leadership/enjoying-the-work-you-prayed-for/): For most of my life, I’ve gotten high on work. I used to plan events like a woman running a relay with no baton, white-knuckling the very thing I’d begged God to bless. If something was off, I felt it in my spine. If a volunteer missed a beat, I replayed it while worship was happening right in front of me. Excellence mattered (and still does), but I was wound so tight I rarely enjoyed the work. Somewhere along the way the Holy Spirit whispered and re-ordered me: “I didn’t call you to build miserable excellence.” Scripture agrees that to […] - [7 Reasons to Keep Mentoring Even Though You Think You Have Reason to Quit](https://drdeannashrodes.com/uncategorized/7-reasons-to-keep-mentoring-even-though-you-think-you-have-reason-to-quit/): I’ll never forget the morning I opened social media and saw photos of my long-time mentee — not just a poor choice, but something shocking and public. For a moment I wanted to believe her account had been hacked. It wasn’t. It was real. She had gone off the deep end. When people tried to address it, it became painfully clear she had no desire to be rescued; she wanted to keep swimming in the muck. I was devastated. I had poured more into this person than into anyone else in my leadership life. Others called her my protégé, my […] - [The Uncomfortable Trade Off Between Being Liked and Being Successful](https://drdeannashrodes.com/business/the-uncomfortable-trade-off-between-being-liked-and-being-successful/): I have never met anyone who doesn’t want to be liked. Most people I’ve met also want to be successful. (Believe it or not, a few have admitted they could care less about success.) Many of us want both. But what if the pursuit of one compromises the other? What if the choices that make you successful also make you less likable? (Spoiler: sometimes they do.) Unfortunately, psychologists have repeatedly found that competent, strong women in leadership often suffer a “likeability penalty.” People judge the same behaviors differently depending on the leader’s gender: competence can win respect but cost likability. […] - [Five Enemies of Intimacy
(and How to Defeat Them)](https://drdeannashrodes.com/marriage/five-enemies-of-intimacy-and-how-to-defeat-them/): Every marriage faces challenges. Some are obvious, like financial stress or health struggles, but others slip in quietly, almost unnoticed, until you realize intimacy has been chipped away bit by bit. The good news is, once we can name these enemies, we can fight them together. Larry and I have wrestled with every single one of these at some point. That’s not a confession of failure, it’s just real life. If you’ve experienced these struggles too, you’re not broken or unusual. You’re human. But just because something is “normal” doesn’t mean it’s harmless. Left unchecked, these enemies will try to […] - [When the Flames of Persecution Ignite True Boldness and Prayer](https://drdeannashrodes.com/prayer/when-the-flames-of-persecution-ignite-true-boldness-and-prayer/): Today, our world was shaken today as Charlie Kirk, a prominent conservative activist and co-founder of Turning Point USA, was fatally shot while speaking at Utah Valley University during his “American Comeback Tour.” At just 31 years old, he leaves behind his wife Erika and their two children.   Events like this remind us of the sobering reality of persecution and political violence. But Scripture assures us: when the enemy attacks, the gospel does not retreat, it surges forward. The Proof of Persecution’s Paradox From the New Testament to the present day, persecution has a strange, but powerful prophetic effect. In […] - [What Is Spiritual Discernment?](https://drdeannashrodes.com/gifts-of-the-spirit/what-is-spiritual-discernment/): Are you tired of being deceived by people? I get it. I’ve been taken in more times than I’d like to admit, and I always end up kicking myself for falling for it. Few things are as frustrating as realizing you’ve been led to believe something that wasn’t true — especially if you went on to act on that false information. Some of my deepest regrets come from two things: Not recognizing someone’s true character until it was too late. Believing lies about other people because I trusted the wrong source. That’s why, ever since I learned what it was, […] - [3 Things to Do While Waiting
for a Dream to Come True](https://drdeannashrodes.com/dreams/3-things-to-do-while-waiting-for-a-dream-to-come-true/): I know what it’s like to wait for a dream to come true. I mean, I really know what it’s like—because I never stop dreaming. And that means I find myself waiting a lot. I waited 56 years to find my biological father.I waited 58 years to publish my first traditionally published (not self-published) book. So yes, I understand the ache of unfulfilled longing and the tension of the “not yet.” In my recently released book, Uncommon Answers, I share practical helps not just to wait—but to wait well. If you haven’t picked it up yet, I’d highly recommend it—not […] - [3 Powerful Signs Your Prayer
is About to Be Answered](https://drdeannashrodes.com/prayer/3-powerful-signs-your-prayer-is-about-to-be-answered/): Have you been praying for a breakthrough and feel like giving up? Does it seem like the more you pray, the worse things get? You’re not alone. Many believers experience intense pressure right before a spiritual breakthrough. But be encouraged … there are often signs in the spiritual realm that God is working — signs that your prayer is about to be answered. In Daniel 10, we learn that God heard Daniel’s prayer on the very first day, but the answer was delayed due to spiritual warfare. This shows us that just because we don’t see an immediate result doesn’t […] - [Serving God Isn't Always Hard](https://drdeannashrodes.com/christian-living/serving-god-isnt-always-hard/): Recently in my ministry travels, I prayed for a woman at the altar who was heartbroken at the thought of giving up her nursing license. She was an RN who had worked so hard to become one.  I asked her why she felt she needed to relinquish the license and she said that God had recently called her to go into another type of business full time. I asked a few questions, and these were her answers: When God called you to this other endeavor, did He specifically tell you to give up the nursing license? (No.) Do you want […] - [Spiritual Warfare: Blocks and Bridles](https://drdeannashrodes.com/prayer/spiritual-warfare-blocks-and-bridles/): Are you frustrated with people who are doing negative things under the influence of the enemy? (Satan)  Do you frequently deal with those who are creating stress in your life by the ungodly things they say? What if I told you that there was a way to deal with them that actually works? This remedy is effective with things that people say and do, and it even works on their sarcastic eye rolls! (Really, I promise!) My friend and personal intercessor, Cindy Georg and I spiritually strategize and pray on a regular basis. We’ve seen mind blowing things happen, and […] - [What Does Getting Biblical Rest Mean?](https://drdeannashrodes.com/uncategorized/what-does-getting-rest-mean/): On Saturday I was making a long journey home from the Florida Keys to my house in the Tampa Bay area. I had just completed three days of speaking engagements and was weary to the bone. With a seven hour drive ahead of me before I could finally eat dinner and fall into bed, I settled in to listen to some podcasts. I went to one of my favorites and was excited to discover that this week’s episode claimed to offer a list of helps for those who are “living tired.” This was perfect timing for me!  I was hopeful […] - [The Gifts of the Spirit:
You, Too, Can Flow Anywhere!](https://drdeannashrodes.com/uncategorized/the-gifts-of-the-spirit-you-too-can-flow-anywhere/): This past Friday I woke up with a word of knowledge. As soon as my eyes opened, the Lord showed me this thing.  I had no tangible evidence of it before I arose early with this in my spirit, but a few hours later I did some investigating in the natural and discovered what was in my spirit to be absolutely true. Through the years, as I have listened to God’s voice all during my day, I have been accustomed to Him dropping words into my mind, specifically ones of knowledge, wisdom and prophecy. I believe most Christians don’t live […] - [5 Ways to Reconnect After Work Travel](https://drdeannashrodes.com/business/5-ways-to-reconnect-in-marriage-after-work-travel/): I’ve been away in Colombia on a missions trip for ten days now, and I’m coming home today! [Insert cartwheel here!] I will be so happy to walk back in the doors of our home and even happier to see my husband at the airport. Being reunited after time apart is always anticipated yet it doesn’t always go as smooth as we would like it to. We have discovered that it takes planning for our reconnection to go well. Unmet expectations can be a source of disappointment, so it’s important to clearly communicate if our time together is to be […] - [Who's Grateful for EVERYTHING?](https://drdeannashrodes.com/christian-living/whos-grateful-for-everything/): God is calling us to a deeper kind of gratitude—one that doesn’t depend on our circumstances or whether things go our way, or not. It doesn’t hinge on whether our circumstances change. It is quite literally gratitude for every little thing…all the time. Right now I’m in Colombia leading a missions trip, and when we began I spoke to the team about the importance of gratitude. I shared with them that often we have gratitude for all the things that go right, or as we expect, but we needed to have gratitude for every little thing on the trip and […] - [Are you Panicking or Praying?](https://drdeannashrodes.com/anxiety/are-you-panicking-or-praying/): Years ago when my children were all still living at home, I decided I wanted to ride my bike to some local places and be able to lock it up when I went inside. So, I purchased a bike lock…this one you see here.   My kids thought it was funny that I got one that had letters rather than numbers. I hate dealing with numbers. I’m an alphabet sort of person. Right away Jordan said, “Mom, it was stupid to buy that. Somebody’s going to figure out your combination right away…” “Why would they figure that out any more […] - [3 Ways to Find Peace](https://drdeannashrodes.com/anxiety/3-ways-to-find-peace/): If you are a believer, did you ever find yourself going through something really hard, yet you have supernatural peace that makes no sense? I’ve experienced this numerous times, and I’m grateful to have had the experience from God of being held secure even when everything around me is uncertain. I’m not referring to the kind of peace that descends on you when everything is finally going well. I’m talking about the peace that comes when you are walking in the midst of the pain. It’s a supernatural thing when God gives you peace even while your wounds are still […] - [When EVERYTHING a
Leader Does is Wrong](https://drdeannashrodes.com/business/when-everything-a-leader-does-is-wrong/): Have you ever noticed how one moment of hurt or disappointment can change the way you see someone—especially a leader? My husband Larry and I were on staff at several churches in our first years of our ministry before we were lead pastors — he as a youth pastor and me as a music pastor. One of the pastors we worked under had issues of all kinds, including moral ones. These problems were never addressed to any serious degree, particularly by those in authority over him. Dealing with the knowledge of those underlying issues was hard, but so were the […] - [How to Achieve Your Dreams](https://drdeannashrodes.com/time-management/how-to-achieve-your-dreams/): There are facts that I want to share at the outset of this post that will soon become clear as to why. I don’t slay absolutely everything I try to do. I make a lot of mistakes. I’m a flawed person. I don’t always win. But other facts that are pertinent to the topic I’m about to share are: I do slay some things I have attempted to do. I have also had a lot of wins. I’ve accomplished what only 2% of the entire world’s population has ever accomplished…I have a doctorate. I’ve also accomplished what well under 1% […] - [Prayer: The Greatest
Dating & Marriage Strategy](https://drdeannashrodes.com/marriage/prayer-the-greatest-dating-marriage-strategy/): My husband did not grow up in a Christian home or have an example of a Christian marriage. He was actually the person who led his parents and sister to the Lord after becoming a Christian. So, he learned about relationships and future marriage for the very first time at 13 years old when he became a Christian. When he was in middle school, he noticed that his church, Christian Life Assembly of God in Trafford, Pennsylvania, would be featuring a series, “Building Families That Last” on Wednesday nights in the sanctuary. Youth group was at the same time on […] - [God Wants Peace for You](https://drdeannashrodes.com/christian-living/god-wants-peace-for-you/): My husband and I went through a situation not of our own making where peace was gone from our home. We both had sick stomachs all the time, and couldn’t sleep. Anything I ate seemed to go right through me, I was so lacking any peace. A shift occurred, and we entered into a season of recovery to restore peace to our home. Maybe you have gone through a season like that – or you are going through something right now where peace needs to be restored to your life and to your home. During this time, I noticed a […] - [3 Marriage Game Changers!](https://drdeannashrodes.com/marriage/3-marriage-game-changers/): I’ve been married 37 years now, going on 38 in June. I’ve never been married before that, so this actually is my first rodeo, but I’ve been doing it for a looooooong time. And I can tell you 3 things Larry and I do for each other that changes everything for us in the best possible way, and are part of the reason we are still married… Be a faithful witness to your partner’s life In the movie Shall We Dance, Susan Sarandon has a unforgettable part in the movie where she says this about marriage: Ummm wow. Every time […] - [I'm a Married Woman Still Committed to Purity](https://drdeannashrodes.com/leadership/im-a-married-woman-still-committed-to-purity/): This is going to be a lengthy and transparent post that contains real talk about sexuality. If you are uncomfortable with that, I advise that you exit the post now. I thought it would be good to give fair warning for those who are sensitive to this type of information. I don’t share this or anything else for shock value. My desire is always to help people. I recently brought this as a teaching at one of our Stronger Leadership Cohort sessions that I lead for PF Women. I believe it’s important for all women, but especially Christian women in […] - [You Can Read the Right Book
at the Wrong Time](https://drdeannashrodes.com/leadership/you-can-read-the-right-book-at-the-wrong-time/): Did you know you can read the right book at the wrong time? The thought never occurred to me to pray about what to read, until about twelve years ago. I was staying for a few days in the home of a mentor. She didn’t change her routine just because I was there. We experienced life as she normally lived it. This was helpful for me to get a feel for her life rhythm and pattern and see if there were things that would be beneficial for me to incorporate into my life. In the mornings we would come out […] - [Why Did You Quote Them?](https://drdeannashrodes.com/conflict/why-did-you-quote-them/): About once a month I receive communication of some sort (usually email), criticizing me for quoting a famous person who is not a Christian. Someone responds to my blog posts, articles, newsletters, or other posts on social media. In these cases, they assume the person is an unbeliever, and in some cases, they know for sure because the person has said so, making it public. “I don’t agree with you quoting people like Brene Brown.” “I can’t believe you just cited Steve Jobs…” “Why would you quote Stephen Covey and possibly lead people astray?” Sigh. These are frustrating and exhausting […] - [Stop Pressuring and You Will Win!](https://drdeannashrodes.com/relationships/stop-pressuring-and-you-will-win/): I once had a friend I will call Rita who was friends with a woman I will call Annette. The reason I have changed their names will soon become clear. I was not friends with Annette. Although I had nothing against Annette when I first met her, she instantly disliked me because of how much Rita liked me and enjoyed spending time with me. She wanted Rita to be her exclusive best friend, and she became extremely jealous. Rita and I began doing everything from going to exercise classes together to having lunch and shopping. Annette confronted Rita about spending […] - [Today's Rant:
People Who Hijack Meetings](https://drdeannashrodes.com/leadership/todays-rant-people-who-hijack-meetings-during-the-intro/): You go to a meeting. The leader welcomes everyone and says, “As we get started, I’d like us to go around the room and have each of you quickly share three things:  your name, where you live, and your current role/job title.” When it’s my turn, I say, “I’m Deanna Shrodes, I’m Director of PF Women and I live in the Tampa Bay area.” Boom. Done. For most people in the room who know how to follow directions and have emotional intelligence, it’s the same type of answer. But in my experience, at least one person will completely veer off, […] - [Helping People Who Don't Want to Be Helped](https://drdeannashrodes.com/change/helping-people-who-dont-want-to-be-helped/): Is there someone in your life who you desperately want to help, but when it gets down to it, they do not really want to be helped? Some would say it makes no sense to keep trying. They shake their heads in disbelief that you have hung on for so long trying. But if you’re like me, you see great potential in people and have a drive to see them fulfill it. One of the hardest lessons in life is realizing that you cannot help people who do not want to be helped, or lead people who do not want […] - [Why Limiting Yourself to Friends Who Are Your Age is a Terrible Idea](https://drdeannashrodes.com/relationships/why-limiting-yourself-to-friends-who-are-your-age-is-a-terrible-idea/): This is me with my friends Florence (91) and Frances (84). I get so annoyed everytime I hear people say, “I need to find friends my age…”  I think to myself, “Welp, you’re missing out on life…” Sometimes I tell the person that outright, and try to change their mind but I find this rarely works. With the way our culture is structured, people feel that having friends their own age or close to it is is a deep seated need, a prerequisite to being happy. I realize where this originates. From the time we are born, we are all grouped […] - [No, I Won't Conform!
(6 Ways to Be More Fully You)](https://drdeannashrodes.com/uncategorized/no-i-wont-conform-6-ways-to-be-more-fully-you/): Do you feel intense pressure to conform to the expectations of those around you, or systems you live and work within? Is true freedom and really being yourself your greatest craving, yet it seems more elusive than ever to be able to do so…at least without great repercussions? Do you sometimes feel as if you could burst with the inner you that would love to come out if only you felt it was safe to do so? If you struggle with this, you are not alone. We are all trained from our very earliest days to conform. I have great […] - [It Happened to #MeToo
(The Power of a Leader's Response )](https://drdeannashrodes.com/leadership/it-happened-to-metoo-the-power-of-a-leaders-response/): I was a freshman in Bible college back in 1984. A few months into college life, I met a young man who I will call “K” who was a friend, but nothing more. K appeared to be so Godly. I enjoyed being around him a lot. He was an upperclassman, well respected and seemed to be going places in ministry. He was known for his ability to preach. I was honored that he let me hang around with him, especially since I was a new student, and he had a lot of friends already. Sharon, the RA of our dorm, […] - [When Your Get Up and Go
Just Got Up and Went...](https://drdeannashrodes.com/uncategorized/when-your-get-up-and-go-just-got-up-and-went/): It is common for people to make comments about me always being energetic and motivated. The truth is that while I am sometimes that way, there are many times I am not. There are times I have literally walked into a building saying, “I can do this! I can do this! I can do this!” And, “You’re going to do this! You’re going to do this! You’re going to do this!” Yes, I say it out loud and at this stage of my life I really don’t care who hears it or what they think. A few months ago I […] - [You've Got to Hold On Before Letting Go (Processing Pain)](https://drdeannashrodes.com/uncategorized/youve-got-to-hold-on-before-letting-go-processing-pain/): Someone once explained to me that Tylenol (or really any drug) doesn’t actually “take a headache away,” it simply numbs it for 4-6 hours or however long the medication lasts. To get rid of a headache, the source of the headache has to be gone, otherwise you have to keep taking the Tylenol to keep it at bay. Just so, the source of our emotional pain must be dealt with, otherwise we just keep medicating it with something to keep it at bay.  We are often encouraged to “let it go” when it comes to our stress, hurt, pain or […] - [3 Blessings of Living on
a Word from God](https://drdeannashrodes.com/christian-living/3-blessings-of-living-on-a-word-from-god/): People who sincerely seek God for direction and then move on what He says are a different sort of person. Those who live their lives solely based upon God’s direction can be viewed as oddities or even mocked, but once you’ve lived in this way of allowing God to order your steps rather than attempting to order them yourself, you see the value. Our main source for guidance is the Bible — the Word of God. And then there are specific things in our lives that may not be expressly spelled out in the Bible, that we seek additional confirmation […] - [Would You Like to Get the Help You Need?
(Here's One Big Key!)](https://drdeannashrodes.com/leadership/would-you-like-to-get-the-help-you-need-heres-one-big-key/): You will need help from somebody at some point.  When you need help, it’s important to you to get it, and you want the best that person has to give. So, why doesn’t everyone receive the help they need, in the way they want to receive it? A lot of it has to do with timing. Being a leader for so long and working in both the church and the business world, I have discovered that most people have little regard for timing.   True emergencies are exceptions. Obviously in a crisis, you need help NOW, not next Tuesday.  The caveat […] - [3 Keys to Achieving Goals in the New Year](https://drdeannashrodes.com/change/3-keys-to-achieving-goals-in-the-new-year/): It’s a brand new day, and a brand new year. What will be different this time next year? Absolutely nothing if you and I don’t build the right habits. If you haven’t read Atomic Habits by James Clear, run — don’t walk, to get this book. In fact, if you read only one other book besides the Bible this year, let it be Atomic Habits. It’s that good. I am working on developing a few strong habits this coming year, starting a few days ago. Here are three things (in addition to following the excellent advice in Atomic Habits) that […] - [Life is One Big Group Project.
What Are We Going to Do?](https://drdeannashrodes.com/uncategorized/life-is-one-big-group-project-what-are-we-going-to-do/): My therapist knows how to tell me the hard things, and I need that. I share about all areas of my life in our sessions and I would venture to say a vast majority of what I share, I am powerless to have any control over. I want to see change, but the only person I can change is me. I initially met with my therapist to ask for coping skills. And she informed me that she doesn’t give coping skills to her clients.She doesn’t believe in coping skills, she believes in flourishing. Not gonna lie, I felt panicked when […] - [10 Books I Read in 2024](https://drdeannashrodes.com/uncategorized/10-books-i-read-in-2024/): People are always asking me what to read. I love to share about books and reading and anything connected to that, as I believe what we read has incredible power to change us. Many of these books are not newly published, but ones I’ve recently come across that are enduring ones, recommended by others. Here are some favorites from this year, in no particular order: You May All Prophesy by Steve Thompson – this book has taken my prayer life, use of the gifts of the Spirit, and my ministry to a new level. The Divinity Code to Understanding Your […] - [Christmas Gift Ideas 2024
(Deanna's Favorite Things)](https://drdeannashrodes.com/holidays/christmas-gift-ideas-2024-deannas-favorite-things/): Are you feeling stuck when it comes to gift giving for some of the people on your Christmas list? Today I’d like to share a few of my favorite things that might be good choices for you to get for some of the people on your list. These are in no particular order, and they are all budget friendly gifts. The book, I Hear His Whisper, by Brian Simmons. This is a fabulous daily devotional that my friend Susan Morgan gave me for my birthday this past year. I absolutely love it. I’ve probably been gifted hundreds of devotionals during […] - [Observing the Sabbath:
Basics to Know](https://drdeannashrodes.com/burnout/observing-the-sabbath-basics-to-know/): “Sabbath is more than the absence of work; it is the presence of something that arises when we consecrate a period of time to listen to what is most deeply beautiful, nourishing, or true.” ~ Wayne Muller Over the past eight years or so, I’ve shared a lot about the importance of observing the Sabbath. I have never written a blog post or a book about it, but I have made social media posts or referenced it in some of my messages. This week I was contacted by two people asking me to share more about this, and provide any […] - [The Secret to Making
Bad Things Work For You](https://drdeannashrodes.com/uncategorized/the-secret-to-making-bad-things-work-for-you/): The biggest choice people often throw away is the choice to lead themselves. How often do other people make a choice that negatively affects you, and you respond by doing something that hurts YOU even worse?  I’ve done it too many times to count. One of the worst things I have done over the years is get mad at someone and in response, eat a bag of potato chips. I know, I know…It makes NO SENSE. Back in 2004, a man rammed into the back of my car when I was sitting at a red light, smashing in the back […] - [Can People Trust You?](https://drdeannashrodes.com/family/can-people-trust-you/): Trusting people is a challenge for me, as it is for many people. Yet I remain committed to trusting, because I know you can’t get anything done as a leader without it. I’m  openly admitting it — I trust because I want to produce and achieve and I know there’s none of that without it.You will only go so far with anything doing it by yourself. Anything you are going to do all by yourself is going to be pretty small. If you want to build something great, you are going to have to trust people. Despite committing myself to […] - [What to Do When You're Not Moving Forward](https://drdeannashrodes.com/leadership/what-to-do-when-youre-not-moving-forward/): I have heard hundreds of people say, “I should write a book.” But rare is the person who follows through and does it. 81% of people say they want to write a book. Only 3% actually do it. This is because it’s not easy to write a book, even for people who love to write. This extends to anything, not just writing. “I should start my own business…” “I should get in shape…” “I should go back to school…”    These are all worthy goals. Yet most of the people who say they should do those things, don’t. A smaller […] - [Life Changing Tip:
Have the Conversation with the Right Person!](https://drdeannashrodes.com/family/life-changing-tip-have-the-conversation-with-the-right-person/): We need to have conversations with the people we’re supposed to have conversations with. This didn’t come out of my head — I wish it did. It’s brilliant. But I have to give credit to T.D. Jakes. I heard him say it in an interview, and it changed my life. And now, I hope it changes yours. Jakes says that when we have conflict or hurt in our lives and we don’t discuss it with the person who caused the pain, we will always end up having “that conversation” with somebody else!  If you are in the ministry you will […] - [How to Increase Your Chances of Getting Help](https://drdeannashrodes.com/business/how-to-increase-your-chances-of-getting-help/): Everyone wants something. I’ve noticed the majority of people don’t realize the tricks to the trade of getting what they want. There are people who, when instructed on what to do to get help, will still insist on doing things their own way. This is one of the biggest ways that people stand in the way of their own success. There is one very simple thing you can do to greatly increase your odds of getting someone to help you with something you want. If you want to receive someone’s attention, and ultimately their favor — communicate with them in […] - [The Teacher Who Told Me to STOP Writing
(And 3 Things You Can Learn From It)](https://drdeannashrodes.com/leadership/the-teacher-who-told-me-to-stop-writing-and-3-things-you-can-learn-from-it/): “I’m sick of this Jeannie business, and if I hear of it one more time, you’re in big trouble!!!” This tongue lashing came Mrs. Mulkey, my second-grade-teacher-from-hell. Now, let it be known, I love teachers. Teachers are my heroes. Throughout all of my schooling, I only had two bad ones. That’s a 98% success rate for all my teachers throughout all time, so that’s pretty darn amazing. I’ve blogged and spoken about a lot of the 98%, singing their praises, and today I’m going to share about one of the two from hell. Because now I’m an adult with a […] - [5 Ways to Keep a Marriage Hot](https://drdeannashrodes.com/uncategorized/5-ways-to-keep-a-marriage-hot/): This week, despite many obstacles and against all odds, Larry and I headed out west once Hurricane Milton was over. We flew to California to take a long-planned vacation to Cabo, Puerto Vallarta, and Mazatlan. We were supposed to leave last Wednesday morning to spend a few extra days in San Diego before our cruise, but flights were cancelled going out of Tampa. We thought it was going to be impossible to go on our trip as planned. We waited out the storm and were hoping we could make it in time but were doubtful. Once we had all the […] - [3 Reasons People Fear Sharing Their Story
(And How to Break Through Fear)](https://drdeannashrodes.com/writing/3-reasons-people-fear-sharing-their-story-and-how-to-break-through-fear/): One thing I’ve observed through the process of writing and publishing my story is that a lot of people live in terrible fear of sharing theirs. The reaction that some people have when they read my books, Worthy to Be Found and Restored, is as if I had told them I had willingly gotten into a cage with a lion. I’ve received private mail from people who said they could never do it. One of my friends says he’ll write his story after his parents die. And that makes me sad. Why does anybody have to DIE for a person […] - [It's Time to Get Excited About Forgiveness!](https://drdeannashrodes.com/therapy/its-time-to-get-excited-about-forgiveness/): Hard. Difficult Excruciating. Impossible. I’ve heard forgiveness described as all of these things and more. I don’t think I’ve ever heard even one person describe it as exciting, unless they are speaking of the fact that they are excited that God forgave their own sins. But me? I’m totally, 100%, over-the-moon excited out of my mind about forgiveness!!! Because I kid you not…forgiveness has given me the majority of what I have.   Everything I possess, I owe to forgiveness…starting with eternal life, of course. What if you knew that whenever you did something, you were going to reap a […] - [How Quickly Do You Get Back Up?
(5 Keys to Resilience)](https://drdeannashrodes.com/resilience/how-quickly-do-you-get-back-up-5-keys-to-resilience/): Years ago my husband was watching an interview on TV and he said, “Babe, you’ve got to see this…”  Paralympic skier, Bonnie St. John was being interviewed about the importance of getting up quickly when you get knocked down, because even when that happens, winning the race is still possible. (She shares about it HERE.) I will confess, when I’m down, I don’t feel like getting back up. I want to wallow in it. Rolling around in the disappointment feels satisfying for a while. But, I’ve discovered that making that choice doesn’t move me ahead in any regard. It’s a […] - [3 Things Leaders Need to Stop Saying
(If They Don't Mean It)](https://drdeannashrodes.com/uncategorized/3-things-leaders-need-to-stop-saying-if-they-dont-mean-it/): I’ve said all of these three things before and not meant it. And when I have done that, I have verbally kicked myself when I’ve become aware of it. I get annoyed when I catch myself saying something I don’t really mean. I am committed to truth and to speak as exactly as possible. These are three things I’ve tried to do a better job of catching and correcting. 1) “Everything is on the table for change…”  No. No it’s not. It sounds radical. It makes it appear as if you’re ready to take huge risks to go to the […] - [3 Environments That Are Stressful for Creatives](https://drdeannashrodes.com/uncategorized/3-environments-that-are-stressful-for-creatives/): A creative is a person who primarily produces original content, in varying formats including but not limited to various types of art, writing, music, dance, graphics, photography, innovation, entrepreneurship, marketing, and the list goes on. I consider myself a creative in the areas of writing, music, entrepreneurship, marketing and more. There are environments that people like me thrive in and others that are so stressful we end up doing everything from taking blood pressure medication to scheduling additional therapy appointments. There are many, but today I’m going to focus on three. The following are three environments that are stressful for […] - [Is God Gonna Do Anything About This?](https://drdeannashrodes.com/theology/is-god-gonna-do-anything-about-this/): Larry and I have a recurring disagreement. And if he’s right, I just don’t know how I’ll live with the result of it. Not to be dramatic or anything.. I believe God cares about all things large and small. Larry believes some things are inconsequential. I believe God will deal with things that are wrong especially if they are intentional, and not just an honest mistake. Larry believes that some issues, God just doesn’t see as a big deal. So………..lemme give an example. Unfortunately, this is not a rare thing. It occurs in a lot of different places. For this […] - [3 Benefits of Praying in the Spirit](https://drdeannashrodes.com/uncategorized/3-benefits-of-praying-in-the-spirit/): The benefits of praying in the Spirit (in tongues) are many. I pray in the Spirit daily and it’s not because I’m super spiritual, it’s because I am weak without the power of the Spirit and can’t survive without this advantage in my life. I Corinthians 14:4 says that, “He who speaks in a tongue edifies himself…” This means that when we do this, we are building ourselves up in the Lord and growing stronger in our faith.. There are a plethora of benefits I receive from praying in the Spirit, and I thought I’d share just a few today. […] - [The Habits That Are Getting You NOWHERE!](https://drdeannashrodes.com/spiritual-growth/the-habits-that-are-getting-you-nowhere/): A few years ago, my therapist told me, “Stop doing anything you can’t be happy about.”  I thought, Really? Are you serious? Who is happy clappy about everything? I hate cleaning the bathroom. But I do it. I detest cleaning out the refrigerator every week. But I do it. I came to realize, I was right about this, but so was she. I was stuck in a cycle of doing several non-housekeeping type of things that I hated, but kept doing. I continued doing them out of pressure and false expectation. I would stew about these things all the time, […] - [Can We Skip to the Good Part?
YES. Yes We Can.](https://drdeannashrodes.com/uncategorized/can-we-skip-to-the-good-part-yes-yes-we-can/): I read a quote a few weeks ago by E.Stanley Jones that said, “If you don’t surrender to God, don’t think you don’t surrender. Everybody surrenders to something.” It’s true that we always surrender. And unless it’s to the Lord, it’s never to anything good. There are so many negative things to surrender to, among them fear, anxiety, other people’s wishes and whims. Why not just cut to the chase and surrender to God and live the life we were meant to live? I have found that when I am encountering unrest in my life it is most often because […] - [Redemption Isn't by Accident](https://drdeannashrodes.com/uncategorized/redemption-isnt-by-accident/): My friend Judi and I were having a deep conversation one day about redemption and the importance of partnering with God to allow Him to redeem even the most painful circumstances in our lives. Judi said something I had never thought of before, and it immediately resonated with me. She mentioned the true crime shows that she and I both enjoy watching such as Dateline or Forensic Files. She said, “Did you ever notice the family members left behind of those who were murdered? When they interview them, you can see a difference between those who are filled with hate, […] - [Marginless Living:
When a Surprise Makes You Throw Up](https://drdeannashrodes.com/anxiety/marginless-living-when-a-surprise-makes-you-throw-up/): My husband Larry bounded into my office at work, carrying my suitcase. “You’re all packed!” he said with a smile. “Grab your purse and let’s go!” “Where are we going?” I asked, bewildered that he was at my workplace in the middle of the day. “I’m taking you away on a surprise trip! We’ll be gone for four days. Everyone here already knows, and we’re leaving now.” My assistant, Judi, stood by beaming at me like I had just won the lottery. I stared at her in shock, then slowly glanced back at Larry, feeling my face flushing. This wasn’t […] - [I Don't Care How Gifted You Are.
How Do You Love?](https://drdeannashrodes.com/leadership/i-dont-care-how-gifted-you-are-how-do-you-love/): I know a church where a family that are members of the church treat people in an unloving way. They cause drama on a day to day basis as well as problems in situations  like church business meetings. They are the biggest gossips in the church. Down through the years, multiple pastors have put up with their unChristlike and unloving behavior, catering to the family on many issues and situations. The reason pastors of this church have put up with this is that the family members are gifted in various ways, and it is believed the church needs their gifts […] - [Have Your Gifts Become an Idol?](https://drdeannashrodes.com/leadership/have-your-gifts-become-an-idol/):   It was a sad day in my pastoral journey years ago when I had to ask a musician on a worship team I led to step off of the church worship team for a season due to a moral failure. He became angry and responded with, “This is my way of worshipping God. How am I even supposed to worship God if I can’t exercise my gift?” He let me know in no uncertain terms that he believed having him sit out from the worship team for a season was stripping him of the ability to connect with God. […] - ["Thank you for saying something..."
This one phrase can change your life!](https://drdeannashrodes.com/uncategorized/thank-you-for-saying-something-this-one-phrase-can-change-your-life/): I am thankful to have massages on a regular basis which help tremendously with physical as well as mental health. My massage therapist, Malik,is extremely skilled, and although he is well aware that I like light pressure, there are rare occasions when he presses too hard. When that happens, I gently speak up, and he always responds the same exact way — by saying, “Thank you for saying something.” And then, he changes whatever technique he is using that is causing discomfort. A few months ago, I wrote this post about a snarky letter I received from a minister in […] - [Is There a Gift in Depression?](https://drdeannashrodes.com/depression/is-there-a-gift-in-depression/): This week I was having a talk with my oldest son, Dustin, and we were discussing a friend who is so intelligent, we believe they most likely score high enough to get into Mensa. I mentioned that the friend is indeed brilliant and I wish for their sake that they didn’t struggle so greatly with depression. Dustin quickly added, “All the smartest people are depressed, Mom.” What?! This was news to me. I thought Dustin’s statement was some kind of joke at first, and then he enlightened me that there is research that shows that many or even most of […] - [Why Women Should Be Sent Away!](https://drdeannashrodes.com/sabbath/why-women-should-be-sent-away/):   “Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away.”  ~ Barbara De Angelis I didn’t have my first real vacation as an adult until my teen sons and daughter were almost grown. We always went somewhere that I had to keep doing the cooking, cleaning and laundry — just in a different location than home. We went everywhere from Gatlinburg, Tennessee to various beaches on the east coast, and every time I simply picked up my jobs in the home and took them somewhere else for the week that typically […] - [I Dare You to Try This for 30 Days!](https://drdeannashrodes.com/spiritual-growth/i-dare-you-to-try-this-for-30-days/): God has been calling me to a place of depending on Him rather than some of the things and people I depend on so much. I’m not saying God has called me to be totally independent of others, or resistant to receiving help. I know as human beings we are wired for connection. What I am saying is that way too often, Christians are more dependent on other people, and our worldly comforts instead of God. And, I have observed that many people including myself are often obsessed with attaining a pain-free life. God never promised us a pain-free life. […] - [The Reason People Starve](https://drdeannashrodes.com/spiritual-disciplines/the-reason-for-starving-people/): For all of my teen and adult life, I have heard many Christians around me speak of the need to be fed. And truthfully, I’ve never understood it. I am always spiritually full, unless I decide for some reason to not feed myself that day. I do not wait for anyone else to lead me or feed me. If I waited for any other human being to feed me, I would spiritually shrivel up to nothing. What would I be waiting for? It truly exhausts me hearing people blame their husband, their pastor or anyone else for them “not being […] - [5 Natural Helps With Depression](https://drdeannashrodes.com/stress/5-natural-helps-with-depression/): I struggle with clinical depression, as well as circumstantial depression thrown in the mix at times. What this means is this… I struggle medically with depression (regardless of what is going on in my life) and I receive medical treatment for this. But at times, circumstances and situations in my life add to this and can exacerbate the problem. I take medication for depression and am so glad that I do. People around me should be glad I do too, because it really does help me, and thereby it helps all of the people I interact with. I’ve gone off […] - [Why I'm Staying in Therapy for Life](https://drdeannashrodes.com/recovery/why-im-staying-in-therapy-for-life/): I didn’t always get what I needed out of therapy. When I was in my twenties, I saw a Christian counselor who was not trauma-informed at all. Therefore, our sessions were a waste of time. It was not until I found Melissa, a licensed mental health counselor who helped me for eight months, that I experienced real life change and healing.  As we worked on one issue, it led to us dealing with many other areas as well. The changes I experienced in my life through those sessions have lasted to this day. One day Melissa let me know that […] - [How to Manage Your Energy](https://drdeannashrodes.com/leadership/managing-your-energy/): A few weeks ago, I woke up at 5:30 AM, and the moment I opened my eyes, I had a profound thought that I knew was meant for the book I am writing at this time. I reached for my phone that was on the nightstand and began tapping out what was in my mind. My brain is completely different at 5:30 AM than it is at 5:30 PM and I’ve learned to manage this to my advantage. One of the most valuable habits I have is protecting and managing my energy. This becomes all the most important as well, […] - [Failure to be Teachable Can Kill You!](https://drdeannashrodes.com/business/failure-to-be-teachable-can-kill-you/): We often hear that young people need to be teachable in order to succeed. Actually, ALL people need to be teachable in order to succeed. Successful people never stop learning until they take their last breath. Learning something new every day is as vital to your health as the air you breathe. And although we can learn something from everyone, those who have certain expertise are those where we should particularly lean in, to glean from. Today I want to share 3 truths about being teachable that people may be unaware of. Let’s go for the most shocking one first. […] - [On Trying to Not Cross a Bridge
Before You Come to It....](https://drdeannashrodes.com/reflection/on-trying-to-not-cross-a-bridge-before-you-come-to-it/): There’s an old saying, “Don’t cross the bridge until you come to it,” or “You can cross that bridge when you come to it,” or variations of that phrase. My mom always said this to me when I was growing up. I’ve always wanted to cross bridges before I come to them, and as quickly as possible. This thing about crossing bridges has been rolling over in my head the last day or two as I have contemplated a bunch of “what ifs.” I hate what ifs! I have always detested them. What ifs are the bane of my existence. […] - [3 Ways I'm Addressing Burnout](https://drdeannashrodes.com/leadership/3-things-im-trying-to-change-to-address-burnout/): I’ve been trying to address stress and burnout in my life, and wrote this post about it two weeks ago. I wish I could say everything is resolved by now but I know this isn’t going to be a quick fix. Despite being on blood pressure medication for a few weeks now, my eye has now had a third blood pressure spike/burst blood vessel. So right now, I’m walking around AGAIN with an eye that looks like blood was poured into the white of my eye. Lovely. I feel like I show up everywhere looking demon possessed. I read an […] - [The Power of a Positive Comeback](https://drdeannashrodes.com/leadership/the-power-of-a-positive-comeback/): How do you personally handle feedback? There are a few email newsletters that I send out (both work and personal)  and recently I received a snarky letter from a guy (actually a minister)  who received my newsletter. I am assuming he didn’t really want to be on my mailing list, or didn’t like what I wrote. I’m surprised he didn’t just unsubscribe, or report me for spam. But, he didn’t. Instead, he clicked ‘reply’ and wrote me a letter. Athough he didn’t come straight out and say, “I don’t like you and I don’t like what you write,” he said […] - [Stress Stress Go Away...
Don't Come Back Another Day!](https://drdeannashrodes.com/recovery/stress-stress-go-away-dont-come-back-another-day/): The stress in my life finally caught up with me. I find myself at a point of having to take action on the stress in my life, before it creates damage that can’t be undone. Thankfully I’m at the place where I believe  it can be turned around. (And my doctor agrees with that.) I have never been on any type of medication that is due to lifestyle. Any medication I have been on up until now is something I would have to be on forever unless God healed me. None of it is anything I could ever do anything […] - [How to Treat (or Not Treat) Grieving People](https://drdeannashrodes.com/ministry/how-to-treat-or-not-treat-grieving-people/): Last Thursday was a day I will never forget, one that I prayed to God none of my kids would ever have to face. On that day, my oldest son Dustin and his wife Taylor found themselves facing the most significant loss of their lives. During the anatomy ultrasound to check on their 22 and 1/2 week old baby boy, they were given the  news that his heart had stopped beating. It understandably rocked their world. They named him Benny. He will never be forgotten. My husband and I suffered the loss of our first child at 12 weeks in […] - [Do People in Ministry Have to Hide or Retire to Have Fun?](https://drdeannashrodes.com/leadership/do-people-in-ministry-have-to-hide-or-retire-to-have-fun/): I wrestled with the title of this post. I thought perhaps the title should be, “Do People in Ministry Have to Hide or Wait to Retire to Be Themselves?” At times the pull to suppress yourself or at least tweak yourself slightly to survive and thrive in the ministry gets intense. People don’t understand the weight of that unless and until they experience it. I don’t want to do anything sinful. But I do want to have good clean fun, and be open about it. I guess everyone’s perspective of good or clean varies, and in summary, I’ve discovered that […] - [Why Can't My Problems Just Go Away?
(Lessons from Golden Hour)](https://drdeannashrodes.com/leadership/why-cant-my-problems-just-go-away-lessons-from-golden-hour/): I am a HUGE fan of “golden hour.” Golden hour is a period right after sunrise, and before sunset, when the light is much softer than when the sun is in the sky. It’s a wonderful time to take photographs. Many photographers refer to this time as “magic hour” although it sometimes lasts much shorter, or a bit longer than an hour. If you want to take some really beautiful selfies or family photos, golden hour is the perfect time. One evening last week, I was sitting at home by the window, quietly eating dinner by myself, as my husband […] - [3 Things to Do When You Feel Overwhelmed](https://drdeannashrodes.com/business/3-things-to-do-when-you-feel-overwhelmed/):   Everyone gets overwhelmed at times. I’m no stranger to it and sometimes I’ve handled it well and other times I’ve failed and  the overwhelm has become even worse. Recently, I was overwhelmed as several huge deadlines converged at once. At the same time, I was managing work and relational stessors that had me feeling like a rubber band being stretched to the snapping point. These are three things I did that have been helpful in this season:   Remember that your inbox is not the boss of you!   We’ve all had the experience of people tugging at us […] - [There's a Lot I Used to Believe](https://drdeannashrodes.com/uncategorized/theres-a-lot-i-used-to-believe/): I wrote a book many years ago that is now out of print. I am so thankful it’s out of print because I don’t believe at least 25% of it anymore. I have lived, studied, and grown, and therefore some of the things I believe have changed since that time. I disagree with a lot of my own theology in that old book and I’m thankful it’s not on Kindle or floating around the internet. It was published before the internet or Kindle existed. Yes, I’m that old, as my kids as well as my niece and nephew love to […] ## Pages - [Book Home](https://drdeannashrodes.com/book-home/) - [Uncommon Answers](https://drdeannashrodes.com/uncommon-answers/) - [Home V2](https://drdeannashrodes.com/home-v2/) - [Coaching](https://drdeannashrodes.com/coaching/) - [Subscribe](https://drdeannashrodes.com/subscribe/) - [Books](https://drdeannashrodes.com/resources/) - [Speaking](https://drdeannashrodes.com/speaking/) - [Blog](https://drdeannashrodes.com/blog/) - [About](https://drdeannashrodes.com/about/) - [Contact](https://drdeannashrodes.com/contact/) - [Home Page](https://drdeannashrodes.com/) [comment]: # (Generated by Hostinger Tools Plugin)